Most days I keep myself very busy, waking up just in time to get to work twenty minutes late, rushing to teach or take a yoga class after work, maybe a drink with a friend, maybe just busying myself reorganizing the closet AGAIN or running to Home Depot for the third time in a week.
But tonight, no one came to the yoga class at which I was subbing, and rather than keep myself busy per my plan (driving Old Orange to Home Depot to return $125 worth of switchplate covers), I poured myself a glass of wine and caught up on my blogs.
The day grew dim around me, until the only light in the room was my computer screen, and I tripped over one of yje new housemate's ottomans trying to get to the bathroom. The house felt very lonely then, not knowing my way around in the dark.
I built myself a fire and turned on a few lights, poured myself another glass of wine, and felt so alone.
This is so temporary, for the lifetime I look forward to sharing with him, but in this moment, I am alone and lonely, and I want nothing more than for him to be here, watching the fire die down to its embers.