04 November 2009 at 4:52 pm

My aesthetician tells me what a normal vagina I have. It started a few visits ago, when a friend of hers was watching how It is done, and they were discussing the various shapes a vagina can take in this world. It was very bizarre, paying to have hair ripped out of me while two ladies stare at and comment upon my ladyhood. I couldn't stop giggling, in between wincing.

I imagine there are levels of conversations my aesthetician has with her clientele, that she only discusses certain things with certain clients. A very classy looking 50 year old woman was leaving the room one time when I was arriving, and I don't know what service she had -- I assumed it was brows or something, but what do I know? -- but I couldn't imagine my aesthetician tweezing away while telling her how normal looking her vagina is (even if it's not).

That's where this kind of thinking gets me in trouble: someone compliments me, and I assume it is somehow a veiled insult, that someone is telling me something nice because I look like I need the reassurance. "In case you were wondering," she said last time, "yours is one of my easiest to wax." She must say this to all her clients, I think. That's why I keep coming back (that, and she does a dynamite Brazilian in ten minutes).


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About me
Hi. Morgan, 27, of Santa Barbara, CA. I am a hypocritical admirer of rhetoric (when it is my own) and an observer of literary trends. A secret: I don't take anything very seriously, and that includes myself.