It's always better in my head
13 October 2009 at 3:43 pm

I don't mind being the best thing about somebody's life, but I can't be the only good thing.

He told me to break up with him, in so many words. After he stood me up on Thursday for a really good reason and deluged me with apology texts and calls for two days, I got this:

"I haven't done a very good job at sweeping you off your feet, have I?"

Ignoring the fact that I was kind of waiting for the right time to break up with him, what girl with any ounce of self-respect would stay with a guy who admits he's not treating her as well as he should? Once the relationship reaches that point, it's done.

I said, "How's your week going?" I had to leave for LA and I was already hours late, but I needed it to be done.

He said, "Shitty." I'd called him over to hang out for just a minute. It was Saturday night, but Saturday nights don't mean that much to me.

I said, "I think I have to make it worse. This isn't working out." We were silent for a long time before I said I didn't have anything else to say. He said he loved me without saying, "I love you," and, eventually, he made his way out the door.

I've been crying on and off since then, but he can't be a good boyfriend right now, and I'd rather be alone even in the best of circumstances.


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About me
Hi. Morgan, 27, of Santa Barbara, CA. I am a hypocritical admirer of rhetoric (when it is my own) and an observer of literary trends. A secret: I don't take anything very seriously, and that includes myself.