I kind of miss not having friends. I was so much more productive.
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"How are you?" Pav asks innocuously, a few months ago.
"I'm GREAT!" I say with a huge smile.
He cowers from my enthusiasm and says, "I don't even think you're being ironic."
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"Would you like another margarita?" Pav asks innocously, a few days ago.
"Yes, I think so. I have been depriving myself recently."
It's funny! Because it's not true at all! I've been living like a hedonist, giving into every last invitation, partaking of every ice cream cone that comes my way, and attaining mild hangovers nearly twice a month! Who will stop me!
He doesn't get it and asks why, which I loathe. If I wanted to say anything more, I would have said it. I'm not a conversationalist.
So I speak the opposite of what I mean. Some people call this "dry humor," but it's the only way I know how to communicate, unless I'm being really genuine and I haven't figured out how to do that on command yet. Actually, that's not true, I was genuine and sincere for a long, long time, but I was awfully lonely, so I gave up and turned into a mimic instead.