Three things have been bothering me. I'll start with this one:
Aaron called yesterday. This was less then twelve hours after the boy accidentally said that he loves me (my response: "No, you don't." More on that later).
He actually called twice, and I let it go to voicemail both times. He said he doesn't want the last time we spoke (although we didn't actually speak) to be the time he left me several messages to let me know that he broke into my email, read everything that gmail saved (spanning at least five years), that I am both a fucking bitch and a fucking cunt, and also, that I'm responsible for the problems with his then-girlfriend. We hadn't spoken for months prior to that little barrage of unadulterated bitterness.
Then he called back to say that he's not angry with me anymore, that he feels incredibly guilty, that he's been thinking about calling me for weeks, and that he deserves a chance to talk to me.
He said "talk," not "apologize for invading [my] privacy over a year after [I] broke up with [him]."
Now, I have been known to be a bit of a fucking bitch, and I sure can be a fucking cunt (just ask my brother), but I gave him everything I had for five years of my life. I gave him EVERYTHING. He doesn't deserve anything from me.
I had a few hours in between jobs, so I went to the beach and called him this morning. Blessedly, it went straight to voicemail. I told him that I'm calling as a courtesy, but to please not contact me anymore, and that I really hope he's doing well.
I don't want to know how he is, but I do hope he is doing well. I don't want him to know how I am, that I'm doing so much better now that he's not a part of my life. I don't want to know how the dogs are, because I do feel badly about that. Also, I have a sneaking suspicion that the actual reason he's calling is to ask me for money.