How Not To Pick Me Up
05 March 2009 at 3:36 pm
Mistake Number One: "Give me your hand."
Mistake Number Two: "I've been asking around about you."
Are your light stalker tendencies supposed to be flattering?
Mistake Number Three: "People say that you're really positive."
No one I know would say that about me.
Mistake Number Four: "Oh, and I want to apologize for being such a douche last week."
It took me another week to figure out that he was talking about when he made out with some chick who was drinking bad decision juice the week prior.
My response: "I can't deal with this right now."
Mistake Number Five: Kristie told me about some creep who was trying to pick up on her by insisting she show him around town ... repeating verbatim the script he used on me the week prior.
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Hi. Morgan, 27, of Santa Barbara, CA. I am a hypocritical admirer of rhetoric (when it is my own) and an observer of literary trends. A secret: I don't take anything very seriously, and that includes myself.