The End of the Beginning, Part Two
28 August 2007 at 12:48 pm

It should be noted that I generally started my emails to Johnny the morning after I received his, would spend all day tweaking and editing, and then would go home and drink a glass or three of wine before getting the nerve to send it. I didn't think much of anything at this point, REALLY didn't think I was ever going to see him again, so I started experimenting with a combination of brutal truth and compulsively created lies.

7/10 Morgan to Johnny

In this day and age, you don't truly know a person until you've examined every last detail of their Myspace, right? (That was ever-so-slight sarcasm). However, upon reviewing mine, it occurred to me that it might be misleading to someone who doesn't know me very well. The thing of it is, the bartenders I work with are famous for their stalkers (and myspace, of course, makes it easy to obsess). The easiest way to prevent it is to have a boyfriend, imaginary or not. Mine, regrettably, is imaginary, though he treats me very well and buys me flowers when I'm having a bad day. I also very specifically did not reciprocate your query as to whether you had any love interests that you left behind, and have at this point returned to, in England, and maybe I still won't.

You flatter me, sir, and are a terrible liar. I can't imagine the girls you must have met that I was the one who stood out. It's all really kind of ridiculous, isn't it, the whole situation? I'm sitting here at 4am, about to get four hours sleep to go work ten hours at two jobs tomorrow, thinking about the things I should and shouldn't have said and done and what ifs and maybes and and yes I do know that feeling quite well the possibility is always better than the reality anyway so I should just forget it and get to sleep.

--Morgan

7/11 Johnny to Morgan

I must admit, your reluctance to explain your current position regarding a partner and your referral to making you "that girl", did make me think that you did have a significant other. Having examined your Myspace, I thought you had confirmed my suspicions. My gut feeling was one of dissapointment. Then I said to myself, (adopt a cockney accent) "sort 'ead out son, what does that change for you. Can you not be with 'er now 'cause she's got a fella or is it 'cause she's on the other side of the planet, you mug!!!!!(not sure you know what mug means???)

What a tangled web we weave. At least I am not the only insomniac since the weekend. So many questions unanswered. I have an overriding feeling that I thought would have subsided by now. I am a rational person. I have honed a self preservation reflex to use against the fairer sex. This does not happen to me!

Can you miss someone you have only met for a few hours? I have replayed the moment I laid eyes on you, in my head, a thousand times. As you say, it will pass. It's just an infatuation. But by fuck, you have got to me! I am 27years old and should know better.................but I don't.

Johnny. X

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About me
Hi. Morgan, 27, of Santa Barbara, CA. I am a hypocritical admirer of rhetoric (when it is my own) and an observer of literary trends. A secret: I don't take anything very seriously, and that includes myself.