Since August 2006, Aaron and I have been paying an average of $1600 a month to our credit cards. I became obsessed with getting out of debt after years of our debt, which fluctuated between nothing and $8000. We never planned well enough, financially, for our moves and I always forgot to take into account the fact that we would be going a few weeks (and sometimes a few months) without a paycheck, so everything would go on the credit cards. For the last few years, I�ve worked at least two jobs (save for the Winter 06 quarter) while in school fulltime. I recently took the third job at the bar in order to get an extra few hundred bucks a month, set the goal of getting the credit cards paid off by February, and have been working my ass off ever since (literally, I�ve lost, like, eight pounds, which on a 5�1� frame, is a lot).
I didn�t realize we�d been paying such a huge amount towards our cards, even though we were always broke when we were both working so hard, until last night when I added up everything we�d paid towards the credit cards in the past six months and averaged it out. Next month, we�ll be making our last credit card payment and be completely, 100% out of debt, which is hideously exciting.
A few huge things are coming to an end in the next few months. I�ll be out of debt by the end of February, something I�ve been struggling to do since 2002. In March, I�ll have graduated from college, something I�ve been struggling to do since 2000. And then I�ll be desperately searching for a job in the publishing industry, something I�m willing to put off in the interest of making money in the meantime. I don�t know what I�m going to do when I only have one job to worry about and the rest of the time is obligation free. The last time I only worked one job and wasn�t in school was in 2002 in Seattle, and I spent my free time working on my relationship with Aaron and training our dog. We didn�t even have cable, so I didn�t watch TV. I still have Aaron and the dogs (plural now) to keep me busy, and obviously there is always stuff to do and ways to improve myself and the things around me, but I won�t have these two major issues hanging over my head, and they are what have occupied my thoughts for the past several years.
Now what am I going to do with myself? I guess that�s a stupid question � moving to Chicago, getting new jobs, exploring a new city, visiting family, etc., will keep me busy for a few months. As much as I hate being in school, it�s always been there, and soon it�s not going to be. Sort of like, I don�t know, a mole, maybe? That you�ve always hated, so you have it removed, and then it�s gone and a part of you is gone so it�s kind of sad? Maybe? No, that�s a horrible comparison. Maybe it�s more like a toxic friendship that you finally sever, and then, even though it�s probably better that you know longer associate with this person, you still miss worrying about it because you�ve been doing it for so long.
I didn�t realize I was freaking out about this until my mom came to visit in December and I had a little meltdown and she suggested I was maybe a little nervous about achieving a goal I�ve been working towards for the better part of a decade. That�s what mommies are for, and as soon as she said it, I felt immediately better about the whole thing now that I knew what the hell was wrong with me.
So what next, since I won�t have as great of an excuse to worry about money and won�t really have an understandable right to complain about having no time to myself? I guess I�ll have to work on my habit of breaking into furious rants and instead rationally deal with my anger. I�ll work on keeping my house cleaner, keeping up better with laundry. I�ll finally be able to read books of my own choosing without worrying about the inevitable exam or paper I�ll have to write�mmm, luxury.
And maybe someday I�ll quit smoking too.