Trigger
02 October 2006 at 7:36 pm

Possible triggers for manic attack:

  • Went to sleep at 2, woke up at 7.
  • Drank too much coffee, didn't eat.
  • Got pissed at student for making a statement that race implies class and didn't confront her about it.
  • Two-week-old yogurt exploded in car on the way home.
  • Normal beginning-of-school, how-in-the-hell-am-I-going-to-get-everything-done panic.

    Either way, my car is now clean, the kitchen is spotless, and the cookies for Wednesday's dinner party in Ventura are made -- all of this in an hour-and-a-half period. But that feeling of imminent mental doom is still present -- that little knot right in between my rib cage that's not quite nausea, more than plain ole' butterflies...it feels like bad turbulence, like a narrowly missed car accident, like thunder heard one second after lightening, like something's going to happen and I won't have any control of it, I'll just have to take it like a little bitch.

    And so, I clean and swim and further distract myself from coherent thoughts.

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    About me
    Hi. Morgan, 27, of Santa Barbara, CA. I am a hypocritical admirer of rhetoric (when it is my own) and an observer of literary trends. A secret: I don't take anything very seriously, and that includes myself.