I've pretty much been spending my days finding different ways to turn off my brain. I'll scan craigslist for promising part time jobs (oxymoron), watch tv, watch a movie, poke through celebrity gossip blogs, contemplate napping, drink a lot of tea, balance my checkbook, clean, try to stay awake, fall half asleep watching the food network, eventually maneuver myself to bed once Aaron gets home from work, and then be wide awake for hours with nothing to do and no one to answer to. The biggest thrill of my day these days is deciding what to eat for breakfast -- cereal or eggs? To toast or not to toast?
I really need to get a job.
I get so worked up over stupid shit like not getting into a class that I call my mom and end up screaming and crying about how unfair it is. Even when I try to do healthy things, like go out and socialize, I'm bored out of my mind making stupid conversation over a beer or coffee. Aaron keeps gently urging me to find a hobby, but I'm starting to think maybe the problem is that I'm just boring.
And to the person who left the suggestion to lie about being a graduating senior: for this particular circumstance, the teacher organized his queue himself, so I didn't even have a chance to lie. Besides, I shouldn't fucking have to. Although I guess that's a good lesson to learn: the only way to get what you want is to lie and manipulate.
Today I made homemade hot chocolate and hand-whipped cream just because I knew it would take longer to make than tea: I'm that desperate to wile away the hours. What a waste of a life.