Fictional Cover Letter Because I Am Bored And In The Mood For A New Job:
25 February 2005 at 5:10 pm
To Whom It May Concern:
I do not know what kind of employee you are looking for, but I have a strong suspicion that it is I. I am currently serving as an Official Lunch Orderer, Occasional Proofreader, and Professional Letter Stuffer for a reputed PR firm. While I cannot say that I am passionate about my work, I can say this: I donít like it. Itís not the people, the position, or the pretension; itís the office itself. In a valiant attempt to celebrate its mediocrity, The Office has decorated itself in various hues of beige that are slowly but surely sucking my will to live into their bland fibers. Pulsing with my formerly vibrant energy, I fear the taupe monster is preparing a takeover of the entire building, soon the street, and by the end of the year, the city. These suspicions are not yet confirmed, but I did find a suspicious memo left in the copier one day. I must be rescued from this lackluster hell to battle the monotony and you, sir or maíam, are just the knight in shining armor to undertake such a mission. Please find attached my resume. I look forward to your prompt response Ė I have already succumb to wearing pattern-less button up blouses. The end is near.
Morgan of 2nd St
mod l post-mod
Hi. Morgan, 27, of Santa Barbara, CA. I am a hypocritical admirer of rhetoric (when it is my own) and an observer of literary trends. A secret: I don't take anything very seriously, and that includes myself.