Fists of fear
11 February 2005 at 1:22 pm

Normally, I share Things My Annoying Coworker Says To No One Imparticular with Sanam, but she's offline studying for the GREs so this is going to be an ongoing thing until she gets back. If I don't tell someone, I might explode.

1. Oh my God, Arthur Miller died? Are you kidding me?
2. I had an egg and I feel really hungry again.
3. Now that's funny. Sucker free.
4. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. That's funny.
5. The filthy mo. That's great.
6. Oooo! [claps]
7. Fourth Avenue crew. Ha-ha.
8. That's hysterical [doesn't laugh].

It's annoying because she says it loudly enough to make it clear she's trying to get a response from the people around her -- namely, me. But after the first few days of her working here when, after every time she said, "Wow," I asked, "What?" and she would just say, "Oh, it's just [uninteresting tidbit]," I would pretend to ignore or not hear her. Another obnoxious thing is when she actually does want to talk to me, she talks so quietly I have to have her repeat herself three times. It's bizarre, really.

I'm feeling very tired these days. I'm not sure if it's that I'm not getting enough sleep or if it's the other kind of tired -- the tired that wants to lay down and never get up. Not in a suicidal way, not in a lazy way -- in a nonexistant way. Thoughts like, "Maybe I should pull out all of my hair," or, "If I scream and collapse on this crowded bus would anyone do anything?" flit through my head like gnats around a fruit bowl. I get shakey and twitchy and cold and the only place I feel safe is in bed and I'm terrified and overly self-aware everywhere else.

P.S. "It just happened" is no more an excuse than "we were drunk." I don't think you read this anymore, but I'm ashamed for you, especially since you seem to expect it not to affect your relationship with him and his relationship with her. If you want to try to explain yourself, I'll listen, but I don't think you'll appreciate what I'll have to say in response.


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About me
Hi. Morgan, 27, of Santa Barbara, CA. I am a hypocritical admirer of rhetoric (when it is my own) and an observer of literary trends. A secret: I don't take anything very seriously, and that includes myself.