Wash that man right out of my hair
29 September 2004 at 3:23 pm

I told Samantha that I got a C+ on my English paper. "No way," she said. Actually, uh, yeah. "You're shitting me," she insisted. No, I'm serious. "Impossible!" she cried.

You see, I've edited each of her final papers for three of her English classes. These papers have been So amazing that they brought her grade up from low Bs to As. Clearly, I'm much better at making other people sound good than I am at expressing myself clearly. I can't stand this teacher, not for his grading policy -- he had really great criticism and I can't bullshit my way through it like I could other classes -- but the class discussions are ridiculously redundant. This is the first C I've gotten since ... uh, the last time I was in college. It's frustrating because I want to get good grades on the papers because I like him as an editor, but I don't want to put any effort into it beacuse I hate him as a teacher. So, hum. I'm starting the next paper now instead of an hour before it's due. Maybe that will help.

Samantha has such better stories than me. She went to the Folsom Street Fair, which, as you can see, is a celebration of all things S&M. She ended up making out with no less than four people, getting whipped no less than two times, and some other stuff that I wouldn't listen to because she was telling me about Evil Dirty Penises very loudly in a very crowded cafe and I was busy trying to hide my head in my purse. What did I do on Sunday? Hummm. Hunt for diner, then beach with the dog. It's good enough for me, but it doesn't make for a very interesting read.

What does Samantha do with her days? She's a personal shopper for one very rich guy and a fashion studient one day a week. That leaves lots of time for fun and debauchery. What do I do with my days? I work and go to school from 8:30am to 10:00pm Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday and work 8:30 to 5:30 Thursday and Friday. That leaves Saturday for errands and Sunday for sleeping. I don't feel trapped by this schedule but I can see how it could get that way. I like being this busy; it just doesn't lend itself to developing personal relationships. I don't ever have anything new and exciting to talk about. Friends with whom I haven't spoken to in months call and ask, "What's up?" and it's just the same thing as last time. Oh, we bought a couch! Ummm...yeah, that's about it. There are still those people, few and far between -- Michelle, Joanna sometimes, Esp -- whom I can call and we don't bother with the pleasantries until the end of the conversation. I don't know if it has to do with growing apart or if there's a finite number of things to discuss with certain people. At least my mom is still terribly interested in every redundant detail of my day.

Aaron and I are stagnant right now, which is totally fine, but now I know why people have kids: sometimes, there's nothing left to do. Once you've exhausted your potential at developing yourself with another person, you have to make a new little you to figure out.

Or sometimes you just forget to pop a pill. It varies.

one year ago today: nothing.

two years ago today: "as with most things, that's all i wanted: validation."

three years ago today: "SUCH regrets"

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About me
Hi. Morgan, 27, of Santa Barbara, CA. I am a hypocritical admirer of rhetoric (when it is my own) and an observer of literary trends. A secret: I don't take anything very seriously, and that includes myself.