she's keeping the bay-bee
28 August 2003 at 9:23 am

there are things worse than whatever you or i or anyone is going through at any given time. that doesn't mean your current feelings about your current tragedy are invalid, that you should be happy all the time because at least you're not pregnant, at least you have a good job, at least you have a boyfriend, at least you have your health. if the at leasts in life were enough, this world would never accomplish anything.

and maybe things do happen for a reason, just not the reason you thought. or maybe things just happen, and then you deal with them, and then it's over and you move on to the next thing.

i'm surrounded with indecision, but everything's fine with me, except for that little panic attack i had yesterday at the thought of going to the gym in a bikini because i've lost all my official swim gear. frivolous! worthless! wait til you hear about MY problems! then you'll feel better!

fat chance.

we made a little nest on the floor in front of my tv and watched the great outdoors, and then i finished my horrible book while he played onimashu 2 on my ps2. we cuddled and dreamed about houses in the presidio in san francisco, with a yard and a dining room; of him getting out of school with enough money so i don't have to work, just finish up school; of weddings and children and everything i'd deemed inappropriate only months prior. how does everything change so fast?

a few things, to a few friends who probably won't read this: it's your decision, it's your body, don't let him push you around, and i'm here if you need anything.

and: i wouldn't have told your father, and i still won't, so you can talk to me because i care about you and you can trust me. nobody knows what's best for you but you.

>

one year ago today: nothing happened.

two years ago today: "why is anything necessary?"

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About me
Hi. Morgan, 27, of Santa Barbara, CA. I am a hypocritical admirer of rhetoric (when it is my own) and an observer of literary trends. A secret: I don't take anything very seriously, and that includes myself.