mommy says: honey, i knew it hurts. i've been there. give yourself 48 hours and it'll feel like you'll have grown a new heart. sleep as much as possible. don't drink, you'll just regret it. and be thankful for the times you had together.
michelle says: oh honey. it just takes time.
joanna gives me a hug.
marshall goes on a 2-hour rant on what a little bitch he is, and how as far as he knows, it's true.
becca gives me 3 free shots, including one of 151 (didn't stay in me too long).
jennifer says she's been there, and it took her a year to get over.
.......
remember how a few entries back i said my least favorite sentence is "we need to talk," besides the sentence, "you're boyfriend and i made out"?
i lied. the worst sentence is your boyfriend and i slept together. it's even worse when it comes from your best friend/coworker claire.
it's over. it's all over. i've managed to stop crying for the moment, but i fell asleep crying, i woke up 3 times during the night shaking uncontrollably and crying, and i came into work crying.
the only time i'm ever going to talk to him again is to collect half of his next 5 paychecks.
i'm moving to san francisco within a month of finding a roommate to take over my room.
all the progress i've made over the past years, all the betrayal i've had the time to grieve over and accept, everything is for naught. i want to die. i want to cut. i'm going to have to go back on pills. i'm calling psychologists during my lunch hour because i cannot do this by myself.
i'm starting to cry again.
it makes me sick, absolutely nauseous, thinking of them touching each other. and them lying to me! i knew something was going on, but i just thought i was being jealous and paranoid.
time, right. just have to wait this out and try not to kill myself or someone else.
we'll see how that works out.