he wouldn't read this because he knew it would make him sad:
//what can i say that hasn't been said before? certainly, it can't be articulated as well on the back of a taco bell receipt as it could in, oh, say, a thread-bound, marble-covered composition book. how can i write of such things that i have taken so for granted, emotions i've mistreated and ignored only to find that when i've learned to accept them they have sunken back into the shadows of my bitter and potentially nonexistent soul? how can i share myself with one who understands exactly what i'm thinking but neither of us have the nerve to say out loud? my dear my love my life, it's too much power for either of us to handle, and it's not something we can do together. cliches are such for a reason: we have to grow apart to grow together. i love you. goodbye.//
it wasn't really what i was feeling, just what i was thinking. but last night was fun. after adventures in makeup sex, we took off to matt's (the bastard is leaving on wednesday...grr) and met his girlfriend (they met a week ago and he's moving...on...wednesday? no comprende). i looked all cute and aaron looked all cute and the best part of the night was right when we were leaving, matt's girlfriend said, "you guys are soooo cute together. you're, like, the epitome of a seattle couple. you're what everyone wants but what no one has."
yay for that.
i was snooping through his journals (he was watching me) and found a song he had written for me. then he got all pissy because he was going to surprise me with it. i was tickled, i tell you, positively tickled.