happy holly daze (erm)
24 December 2002 at 12:21 pm

i wrote this quite a bit ago (on the aforementioned crazy night) and wasn't sure i was going to post it, but fuck it:

//it's one of those nights that make you realize you can only depend on yourself. i say "after 3 drinks we'll evaluate my sobriety" so he says "2 dinks" and then buys you your third (on your credit card, but we aren't dealing with that yet) because he wants another and then says he'll be driving your car home and you're not even drunk but too exhausted coming to terms with his empty promises to negate him.

you begin to tear up but you don't know if you're sad or happy or tired but you suspect all of the above and you want him to cheat on you and hit you and hate you so you can stop loving him but he doesn't so you decide that you two put the fun in dysfunctional and happiness is unattainable anyway and he's a steady lay so who cares how emotionally in debt you are to him how fiscally in debt he is to you and you wish you genuinely didn't care about him but the fact of the matter is you genuinely love him above all else and then you notice that the more muddles your thoughts get, the neater your handwriting on the used napkin with the borrowed ink at the shitty diner becomes.//

our friend matt is at home in peoria right now and he ran into aaron's mom at a bar and aaron's mom called today and she said that matt said that i'm a real sweetheart, so that made my day.

that, and the $300 check my mom sent me. score!

aaron got $350 worth of best buy gift certificates, so we bought a flat screen tv and a dvd player and dazed and confused and boiler room on dvd and let me just say, there goes our social life.

out the mothafuckin window.

spokane tonight. do wish me luck, darlings, won't you?

0 comments

mod l post-mod

|

New
Old
Profile
Notes
Extras
Contact
Image
Host
Trackback

About me
Hi. Morgan, 27, of Santa Barbara, CA. I am a hypocritical admirer of rhetoric (when it is my own) and an observer of literary trends. A secret: I don't take anything very seriously, and that includes myself.