they'll learn much more than i'll ever know
17 August 2002 at 4:39 pm

we'd been planning for a few days to go downtown today and panhandle, for sociological purposes. and because we're lame and have nothing better to do. but i feel less guilty with the former excuse. so we dressed up in what we hoped were clothes that sent the message, "we are cute but we need your money" and ventured down there. i mostly stood around looking sad and lost while joann asked for "spare change? spare change?" we were sitting on a corner when an attractive woman in red lit up a cigarette next to us. she struck up a conversation with us after joanna asked for money. we told her we were looking for money to get a bus ticket to go home to portland because our ride had ditched us when we, uh, went to, uh, vancouver, uh, and they just, you know, left without us...yeah, that's it. she had hitchhiked across the u.s. and in europe when she was 19 and i'm so sure she knew we were lying, but she was cool. she was a hair stylist, which i thought was really interesting, considering. i wonder what she pictured herself doing at her age when she was our age. she told us to go to hempfest because potheads tend to be more giving (i must be the exception to the rule) and so we ventured down there. we passed a coffee shop (cherry street coffee or something) and one of the baristas was outside on a break and gave us her tip money - around $5. we felt so incredibly bad, so we're going to buy cookie-making supples with the money we got today (around $11 for an hour...no wonder people can survive on this lifestyle...better than minimum wage) and make cookies and give them to the barista and the hairstylist. i was hoping for some sort of incredible epiphany, but the experience just reaffirmed my habit of ignoring panhandlers. maybe now i'll actually smile at them instead of staring straight ahead.

so we went to hempfest and it was altogether disappointing. it was me sitting in the shade with the dog reading jane magazine while joanna talked to middle-age potheads. with all the discussions i've overheard (sarah, remember on the bus that one time with that guy in the slippers?), i have no desire to strike up conversations or respond amicably to such attempts. people rarely interest me. i decided why i insist upon being in public despite my unchanging hatred for humanity as a whole: misery loves company, and i figure in a crowd of 20 at least one other person has to be as miserable as I am. i hope, anyway. well, i don't hope for other people to be miserable, but i hope for someone who can empathize with me. none of my current friends can. i don't ever remember having a friend who could. which is strange. i'm tired.

highlight of the day: an absolutely kickass parallel parking job on a steep uphill spot. joanna was v. impressed, but that's not saying much because she can't parallel park for shit. i, however, am a master of the universe. what? (sarah, bug me to send you a postcard because i have one for you but i'm too lazy to put a stamp on).

atom and his package loves me, and you should too.

i'm going to go eat chocolate, drink chai (i FINALLY found a place that sells oregon chai by the carton...rock on, factoria QFC), and finish reading my beloved jane. do have a marvelous day and send "get some" vibes to me tonight as i brave a party at joanna's fwb's place tonight. sigh. social life, why must you torment me so?

oh, and new requirement for Ultimate Boy: must know the literary origin and utilize the term "babycakes" on a daily basis.

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About me
Hi. Morgan, 27, of Santa Barbara, CA. I am a hypocritical admirer of rhetoric (when it is my own) and an observer of literary trends. A secret: I don't take anything very seriously, and that includes myself.