in redding, i constantly feel like a child in her mother's clothes, literally and figuratively. when i dressed strangely in santa barbara, i didn't notice. when i dress strangly in redding, i feel judged and inappropriate. walking around the town, everything i do is constanly reevaluated and critiqued by myself. should i have smiled at him? should i have worn my flip flops? do people think i'm trying too hard when i smoke?
why do i have no confidence in my own home town?