i need a hug
27 April 2002 at 3:42 pm

this entry is hereby dedicated to sanam, without whom this entry would most certainly not exist.

one of my rudest awakenings was a few years ago when, during a moment of trembling courage i asked my brother if his friends just thought i was a nerd (he constantly called me that). he responded, "uh...they don't really think of you at all." hello, slap in the face.

here is a better review of the concert/the night in general: we left at 7:15 (a mere 45 minutes past the scheduled departure) and found the ventura theatre ok. we dropped stine off (she fucking hitchhiked to malibu...that crazy girl, i told her to call me if she was in any trouble whatsoever and i would come pick her up wherever. i hope she's ok) and walked to the venue, after getting stopped by some kickass kids who sold aly her ticket (her sister threw her original ticket away) for a mere $20 (which she still owes me...anyway). audio learning center opened, and they were alright. the lead singer's voice was a wee bit whiny, but hey, it's emo. the crowd started to get rowdy during pretty girls make graves, but not in a cool "you rock let's mosh" way, in a "we want saves the day not you" manner. they were awesome, and i think joanna's right. if i had any sort of singing talent, i would rock out like andrea (i'm on such a first name basis with the lead singer. i hate when people do that. right.) a highlight of that performance was when andrea said, "alright, i get it. you all want the STDs. the kids want stds." i'm a sucker for puns, but the funny part was when some stupidass teenybopper guffawed and explained to his friend, "get it, saves the day? std? hahahahhahaha." aly and i just looked at each other and cracked up. while they were changing the stage for std's set, the crowd got really smooshed and it was reminiscent of the weezer show as we rocked back and forth and attempted to breathe. this was not quite as extreme, however. then std took the stage and the lead singer's voice, again, was SO FUCKING WHINY, but their live rendition of the song that goes something like "and i will sing the requiem" was quite amazing. their encore rocked hardcore too. i was getting rather into it, and had managed to find a good spot right on the outside of the moshy section by the speakers a row behind the guardrail. close enough to see bits and pieces of the band and to bop around for a bit, but not too close to the scary emo moshyness (haha). anyway, it was tons o fun and afterwards, aly and i were on the hunt for some sushi but ended up at ben and jerry's instead. the cookie dough milkshake i had was honestly the best milkshake ever, and i wasn't even high!

we got back from ventura around 11 and i found a message on my board that read, "come find us, rohan and jess." i feel so loved. so i went and found them and drank a beer and got stoned (as last night's entry attempted to explain) and then we went and played mario kart. if i suck at video games when i'm sober, then i am absolutely godawful when i'm stoned. i gave up and just started driving around the track backwards. i got bored of that and read in rohan's room for a bit and then realized i was sleeping with my eyes closed so i wandered back to my room.

on the way, i ran into a random boy who asked me, "are they coming to santa barbar soon?" i was stoned and still slightly deaf from the concert, so i gave him a very confused look and said, "what?" he repeated and i kind of glared/squinted at him and said, "WHAT?!" then he gave me a weird look and motioned to my pretty girls make graves shirt. i said, "oooohhhh. um. yeah. i think so. um. at the end of may?" and he said, "in june." i was like, IF YOU KNEW, DUMBASS, WHY DID YOU ASK?

then i made it back to my room, chomped on 2 packs of starburst (mmm) and read more of my book (did i mentioned i'm reading getting over it? it's terrible. i love it.) and fell asleep around 2ish, only to be awakened by a very drunk suzzi at 3a who told me to set my alarm for 7a because i had to move my car because the parking lot's reserved tomorrow morning. i was like, "what the hell are you talking about?" she tried to explain but i was very fuzzified, so i set my alarm and went back to sleep. surprisingly, i actually woke up at 7a and dutifully got up to move my car, except after driving it out of the lot i noticed that there wasn't a sign saying i couldn't park there so i decided to fuck it and reparked my car in the exact same spot. silly suzzi.

i went back to bed and woke up at 9a and did what i wrote earlier this morning. work was alright and i'm glad i went because i'll be needing the money soon, i'm sure. i'm still thinking about heading out to LA but i can't find anyone to go with, although rohan says he might be up for it. i called lelia, but she's not picking up, cary's away from her computer, and everyone else has things to do. i suppose i'm not really talking to adam anymore, for no other reason than the fact that there's really no point because all i ever talk to him about is my depression because he can empathize but i'm sure that gets annoying for him. anyway.

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About me
Hi. Morgan, 27, of Santa Barbara, CA. I am a hypocritical admirer of rhetoric (when it is my own) and an observer of literary trends. A secret: I don't take anything very seriously, and that includes myself.