theglitterfades0 (7:49:16 PM): ok, urg
theglitterfades0 (7:49:25 PM): can i complain and be a girl and be frivolous for a bit?
frenchsmell (7:49:36 PM): i'm sort of expecting it
frenchsmell (7:49:39 PM): so of course
frenchsmell (7:49:42 PM): go for it
theglitterfades0 (7:49:55 PM): you're sort of expecting it. hm, what does that say about me?
theglitterfades0 (7:49:58 PM): anyway, here goes:
theglitterfades0 (7:53:11 PM): i met this boy at a club and he's really cool and really good for me and we've seen each other a few times since and we talk online almost everyday and on the phone every once in a while and i like him lots and want to care about him a lot and i want it to go somewhere and i want to ask him if he even gives a shit about me or if i'm just the annoying girl he talks to when he's bored but whenever i get the balls to ask him he always signs off or has to go and it seems to meaningless to him which i'm so used to but i'm sick of being used to it and when i finally get around to asking him what to expect of this relationship of sorts i want him to say he never wants to talk to me again because i'm an emotional masochist like that but i want some sort of closure or a fully open door, not just this peeking through the keyhole of what Could Be and i'm driving myself crazy thinking about it and i hate it.
frenchsmell (7:54:34 PM): thats heavy
theglitterfades0 (7:54:40 PM): not really
frenchsmell (7:56:54 PM): it was written very intensly
theglitterfades0 (7:56:56 PM): but gah. tell me what to do.
theglitterfades0 (7:57:04 PM): i'm feeling very intense about it right now.
frenchsmell (7:57:12 PM): people are strange
frenchsmell (7:57:24 PM): and to them i truly am a stranger in such things
frenchsmell (7:57:51 PM): sorry i can't help
this is pissing me off to no end. NO END! GAAAAAAAAAH! and i'm pissed at myself mostly for being such a fucking lameass.