i couldn't decide if i was hungry or had eaten too much. then i realized: i'm stressed! gaaah! where did this come from? perhaps it's because i spent the last four hours writing the following rather than doing the shit i'm supposed to be doing. perhaps.
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The first sentence of a book is the most important.
It�s the first impression. Everyone knows that the first few minutes of a meeting someone new are the crucial moments when one decides if that person is worth getting to know.
A few moments of time that can affect a life.
Think if your best friend had decided you weren�t worth getting to know. What if your first kiss had decided you just weren�t cute enough? What if your first employer thought the guy he interviewed before you could flip burgers better than you could? All based on a handshake, a smile, appropriate amounts of eye contact. God forbid you had something stuck in your teeth. Where would you be then?
Life is one big audition. You�re always performing for someone, always seeking some sort of approval, some sort of validation that your day-to-day actions are having some sort of worthwhile effect.
I read �On The Road� a long time ago. My friends loved it, so I thought I would give it a try. I hated it. This man decided he didn�t need to do anything except �experience� life. He was no slave to money, no sir. He could find a ride. He had fun. It seems to me that the point of writing that book was to get everyone else to hate money and to experience this glorious thing called life.
I wonder if anyone ever told him life is anything but glorious.
I wonder if he considered the fact that the only way he was able to freeload off America is because of all the working class people. I made up a quote once: �If everyone did exactly what they wanted to, who would make the sandwiches?�
There are a lot of things in this life that we can live without. Rather, there are a lot of things in this society that we can live without. But life is nothing without society. So I think we�re all just screwed.
I am in college. I am not here because I want to be. I mean, who really wants to work their ass off for four more years after four years of working their ass off and this time it�s only harder and the only reason I�m here is so that I can work even harder and make more money. Just so I can retire at 65 and not have to work anymore to feed my dying body.
But we were born to die.
We�re living for death.
I just saw what I thought was a piece of lint on my desk. So I picked it up. But it was a bug.
Have you ever done anything that�s so easy it�s hard? Not necessarily because you�re making it harder than it is. I suppose that calling something easy when it�s actually difficult makes it, by definition, hard. But are we going by the book here?
I�m not sure why I�m so different from everyone else. It just sort of � happened. One day, I�m a cheerleader. The next, I�m chopping off all my hair in the bathroom of my dorm, dying it black, and glaring at everyone through raccoon-like eyeliner.
Somehow, that doesn�t make me different. That makes me as uniform as everyone else. The most brilliant quote for every generation at this age is �you�re unique, just like everyone else.�
I wonder if the person who created the word �unique� � the guy who actually put all the letters together � used those letters on purpose. Let us analyze. The majority of these letter are not used very often, especially �u� and �q.� However, the last letter of this word � �e� � is the most used letter of the alphabet. The word was made for that quote.
�Q� must never be used without a �u.� Someone just made that up. Someone thought, �Nope, that just can�t be.� What. The. Hell.
I don�t know why I do the things I do. It just sort of happens. Like the Elvira movies. What was that all about?
For some reason, life is more enjoyable while wearing blue lipstick.
I realize that a lot of the world, a lot of the societally required actions, makes no sense. The problem arises when I conform to these actions. Panty hose. Who thought of that? Ties. I don�t understand. Makeup � if true beauty is that which is natural, why is it so necessary?
There are two reasons why I started smoking. One of them is so I can have something else to complain about. The other is so I can quit and say, �Look, I�m a good person. I beat the habit! Hurrah!� Of course, this is a false victory because I brought the problem upon myself.
Obviously, there is no logical reason to start smoking. Maybe this is why I did. Just for the hell of it.
Why don�t people ever just listen? I mean, not hear the words. Do something about them. If I hear someone say that they went to a show and enjoyed the music they heard, I will download the songs by the artist. This is my thought process: I like this person. He likes this music. I will like this music. It�s worth a shot. Normal people don�t have these sort of thoughts. The thought process of normal people: He�s cute. I want to fuck him. Nod and smile. Laugh. Touch his arm. I�m in.
At least, that�s what I think normal people think. If I knew what normal people think, I would probably be normal. Who wants to be abnormal? It�s a pain in the ass.
Is it better to have thought crazy thoughts and have a higher understanding of the world, even if that understanding is depressing and sadistic, or is it better to live in a na�ve bubble?
My friends hate me for this, but I genuinely think I am incapable of love. The romantic kind. I love my friends. I love my mom. I have never, nor will I ever, love any boy. Or girl, for that matter. I have crushes, yes � insanely intense infatuations, even. But I am unloving and unlovable. I�ve come to accept this. You should too.
You know you have bad eating habits if you�re not sure if you�re hungry or if you�ve eaten too much.
Have you ever started a story by writing the last line first?
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