christine said something worth contemplating today. tonight, rather. she said that i don't ever compromise myself. but in a bad way. like, i don't meet people halfway in relationships. if i'm down, i'll make no effort to not be so just to appease the other person. if i'm happy...well, i'm never happy so we don't have to go there.
all of those things are true. but i was always told it was good not to compromise one's self. at least, i've always told myself that. so...what? i dunno. is it selfish or do i just have a good grasp or myself? is it too self-involved to just be what i'm feeling?
so... fuck it. i'm not going to do what someone else wants me to do just so they'll be my friend. it's a lonely lifestyle, but i could hate everyone else or i could hate myself. i have to live with myself, so i may as well enjoy me.
right? i'm so confused now.