so, Deep Dark Secret of mine just sort of slipped out during conversation with mum today. she, in turn, basically told me she doesn't believe me. so i spent the remainder of the evening on the floor crying and questioning my sanity.
and jesus, it's terrible, but if i don't smoke tonight i'm not going to get to sleep and i have to have to go to class tomorrow and i have to wake up early to go to iv to buy a reader for phil and urg. fucking urg.