we'll see about that
03 September 2001 at 6:14 pm

back from seattle. lots to say, little desire to say it. but i will say this! united airlines rocks! due to some technical difficulties, i missed my 8:25am flight home this morning and they didn't make me pay for a new ticket and i was put on standby but got on the same flights and it was all good. shitty end to a pretty good weekend, but this is my life after all.

called my roommate today. sarah legg. she sounded very confident and very uninterested in talking to me. i imagine the relationship will work, but because i'm so quiet and such a loner, i can see her thinking i'm weak. on the phone, my voice was really high because whenever i have to force myself to be friendly and talkative. it's, like, one of my characters: nice-but-weak girl.

but that's not really who i am. it's just easier to pretend until i know what i'm getting into.

i dyed my hair black. i was aiming for dark brown, but i bought soft black and got black black. it'd be gorgeous if it were straight. it's not. so it's very wiccan.

it's kind of fun to have witchy hair and be wearing gap khakis and a target tank.

and now, i've eaten and have energy. so, the weekend!

friday: left at 5am and got on the airplane ok. got to seattle ok. waited for a few hours for joanna to pick me up. gross, 40-something, balding guy hits on me (i'm reading a magazine and he says, "you're as pretty as any of them." it occurs to me to scream, "how dare you judge me by outward appearances!" and be all bitchy about it, but instead i say thanks. then he stares at me for 15 minutes while i squirm. through all this, i'm wearing headphones. aren't headphones an automatic sign for "i don't want you to talk to me?") then, some 20-something guy walks by and says something about how i should smile more. by now, i'm thoroughly shaken up and creeped out so i go outside and head towards a bunch of females who are smoking and sit on the bench with them. even though i've never smoked a cigarette, sometimes it just seems so nice. breathing that second hand smoke was oddly calming. then joanna comes and we conquer the bus system and that's all i remember until her friend scott and his friends cyrus and the hippie they picked up, jason, come over and we drink beer (2 is my tipsy limit, and even then i don't like it. control is a good thing.) then we smoked pot and joanna's dormmates narced on us so the police came and the guy was like, look, have fun, just don't do it here. which was cool. but that's so dumb someone told. i mean, really, pot? i might be a little concerned shooting up heroin in the bathroom or snorting coke in the lounge, but pot? the cop didn't even fucking care, why should they?

oh well, lesson learned.

saturday: explored. i think that's pretty much it.

sunday: bumpershoot! concert series. it's been discovered that i don't like live music. i like music, but i'm not a bobber. so i sat through it while joanna bobbed. not taht it wasn't good music, i actually enjoyed it. but i like listening to music by myself, just chilling. however, i do very much enjoy live comedy. even when it's not very funny (which it really wasn't), i laughed uncontrollably. anyone seen the downer channel? Mary Lynn Rajskub is "uncomfortable girl" and she was one of the comics i saw. she was funny, but way, way weird.

monday: as previously mentioned, woke up late but got home anyway. now i'm looking around my rooma nd wondering if my carpet is still beige under 7 layers of clothes and random teenage girl shit.

remember from seinfeld elaine and buddy's relationship? that's the kind of relationship i want where i'm in complete control and it's onagain-offagain. but a better guy. ooooh, i want to be elaine. epitome.

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About me
Hi. Morgan, 27, of Santa Barbara, CA. I am a hypocritical admirer of rhetoric (when it is my own) and an observer of literary trends. A secret: I don't take anything very seriously, and that includes myself.