I need to be 18. That way, I could do whatever I wanted. Like buy plane tickets and leave for a month and live in england and stay in hotels. my mom and i are both unverbally agreeing that i'm probably not going to stay at uc santa barbara because it's a party school and i'm not a party girl. i'm a pothead. there are severe differences. i'm the anti-hyper. i've tried alcohol, and i don't enjoy the lack of control. i am a huge control freak. actually, i'm kind of a closet control freak, because i control in an underhanded sort of way. is it so wrong to want things to go my way? is it a mortal sin for me to put my happiness before others? i mean, if you're the type of person who does the opposite, more power to you, but i'm selfish. deal.
i was talking to shannon mott today (i was surprised she remembered me, let alone my aim) and she told me i had no reason to be anxious about college because i "get along with everyone." i think that's true, because when i want to, i do get along with everyone. the problem is, i don't often want to. people are full of bullshit, and i'm sick of bullshit. i am SICK OF BULLSHIT. and i'm sick of phonies. so few people are genuine.
i lead a lonely life, yes, but better lonely than pissy.
oh, who am i kidding, it's both. i'm sick of overanalyzing myself. I understand me, and that's good enough for me.
I can't wait for cheers to come to nick at nite because i was too young to watch it and get it when iw as little but i think it's the sort of show i would enjoy.