I'm very angry right now. I'm just waiting for someone to say something wrong to me so I can jump down their throat and rip out their lungs and stomp on them. Garrrrr.
I gained the 5 pounds back. I am Fat. I feel blubbery. I feel gross. I feel like throwing up. I am disgusted with myself. I wish to wear baggy pants and never see anyone again. Blehhhhh.
I feel like a bad friend. I feel misunderstood. I feel unappreciated. I feel like having a lobotomy to erase memories of the last seventeen years. I feel like running away. I feel like starting over. (There are no second chances). Sighhhhh.
I need my mother to stop nagging. I need my brother to stop being so self-centered. I need to cry. I need to work out. I need to be perfect. I need to not have cottage cheese thighs, an applesauce tum, and dead fish for upper arms. I need a milkshake. Mmmmm.
I need to have all hormones removed from my body (suggestion: acquire follicular thyroid cancer, have thyroid removed. Poof! Hormones gone! Plus, no appetite. Plus plus, lots of attention and excuse for failing all classes.)
I don't really want to talk to anyone right now. I'm annoyed with Esp because I'm always annoyed with her when I'm PMSy. I feel like my friendship with Joanna ceases to exist. Katie's got her own problems (don't we all). I'm struggling with selfishness and empathy. I am not a good person. I have little purpose. I wonder how effective Matt's pills are when taken in large doses.