Can of Worms
2001-05-10 at 11:25 a.m.

At school. I went jogging today at 6am with Joanna...i'm very proud of myself, but it won't last. I jogged pretty well, too...that always happens on the first day. I love how I can type really fast and not have to worry about not getting my thoughts out before they escape. I hope I never have to worry about unwanted pregnancy. I'd like to think I'm mature/responsible/smart enough to think ahead. When my mom and I were talking about me going on the pill, she was wondering what we should tell the gyno for a reason. I was like, we need a reason? I told her we should say it's for hormones, because I hate the lack of control over my emotions I have at this time. She said that we should say we just want to be realistic about college and get my all good 'n prepared (ok, so I'm paraphrasing.) I guess it's good that we're open about these things, and I love my mom for being cool about this stuff. There was going to be a "but" to that sentence, but I can't think of a rebuttal. I wonder if my mom and I will talk about sex, and if I'll tell her if I start having sex. Hummm...I'm in no hurry. Really, worrying enough for certain people (ahem) makes me realize that I really don't need the added pressure. And it's not, like, "when I find the right guy" because I'm far too picky to ever find the right guy (ever), but I like to keep my bitching/worrying to a few central topics, and that would just open up a can of worms.

Is it bad to say I miss Travis? I don't miss Travis Travis...I miss the idea of Travis. I don't know if I already mentioned this, but I've decided I'm doomed in the relationship department due to my habit (wrong word) of not being interested in those interested in me and desiring those who don't know I'm alive. I'm too obsessed with the fantasy, and I'm scared (scared and sacred are almost the same word) -- actually, I know reality won't live up.

I totally know how Esp feels about the Doogie Howser thing. I loooooved that show. I'm jealous how he could type his exact feelings in two sentences and sound so profound.

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About me
Hi. Morgan, 27, of Santa Barbara, CA. I am a hypocritical admirer of rhetoric (when it is my own) and an observer of literary trends. A secret: I don't take anything very seriously, and that includes myself.