"I am a bitch...I like the wonderful things about being a bitch, being on top of it, being aware, and knowingthe answers. But I don't like doing it at the expense of other women." -- The Divine Miss M
"You don't have to be bigger than the guy to beat him up. You just attract their attention, then knee them in teh balls. When they're down, knee them in the face." -- Shannen Doherty
And I may have mentioned this one before, but:
"Everyone likes to laugh at movies. Unless you're on a first date. And then it's just sad. And ugly." -- Caroline Rhea