i'm literally in shock. i think i'm going to tell my mom i need to start seeing a therapist because i'm thoroughly depressed (again) and i don't know if i can deal with all this. and oh my GOD, a miscarriage? katie? why didn't she tell me? why couldn't i tell she was depressed? how am i so self-absorbed? i am no friend at all. i'm the anti-friend. i'm the anti-everything. i'm horrible. i'm shit. i suck. i want to leave. i've got to get out of this place if it's the last thing i ever do. i dont' know what i'm going to do with myself. i have nowhere to turn no one to talk to nothing to do with myself. why am i so sad?