'm supress for you though
Kute Koala [11:27 PM]: ?
KTLolipop [11:27 PM]: My nose is getting all red and sore
Kute Koala [11:28 PM]: what's supress?
KTLolipop [11:28 PM]: suppress spelled wrong
Kute Koala [11:29 PM]: oh
Kute Koala [11:29 PM]: why am i silly and can't understand anything
KTLolipop [11:29 PM]: cuz i can't type?
Kute Koala [11:29 PM]: there's that
KTLolipop [11:30 PM]: is there a website that lets you enter in your symptoms and gives you a possible explaination for your sickness?
KTLolipop [11:30 PM]: There should be if there isn't
Kute Koala [11:30 PM]: i dunno
Kute Koala [11:30 PM]: ask jeeves
KTLolipop [11:31 PM]: I can never find anything on ask jeeves
Kute Koala [11:31 PM]: oh
KTLolipop [11:35 PM]: it made my aol die
Kute Koala [11:35 PM]: that's cause you're stupid
KTLolipop [11:36 PM]: nah ah
Kute Koala [11:36 PM]: ok then
KTLolipop [11:36 PM]: i like joe lots
Kute Koala [11:37 PM]: i don't have anyone to like
KTLolipop [11:37 PM]: i know
Kute Koala [11:37 PM]: and that makes me unhappy
KTLolipop [11:38 PM]: you should like you before you like someone else
KTLolipop [11:38 PM]: Which sounds really stupid
KTLolipop [11:38 PM]: But you never seem like you like yourself
Kute Koala [11:38 PM]: no, i like me fine
Kute Koala [11:38 PM]: i'm really ok with myself
KTLolipop [11:38 PM]: Really?
Kute Koala [11:39 PM]: i'm just pissed that no boy likes me for me
Kute Koala [11:39 PM]: seriously
KTLolipop [11:39 PM]: And it's not that no boy likes you
KTLolipop [11:39 PM]: Just not a boy you like
Kute Koala [11:39 PM]: well, right now no boy likes me
KTLolipop [11:41 PM]: high school boys in general stink
Kute Koala [11:41 PM]: yes
Kute Koala [11:41 PM]: unless they're jay pre-breakup or joe
KTLolipop [11:41 PM]: they are attracted to girls who are either sex objects or are always happy
KTLolipop [11:41 PM]: In my opinion anyways
Kute Koala [11:42 PM]: but you aren't
KTLolipop [11:42 PM]: Jay was my best friend
Kute Koala [11:42 PM]: blah
KTLolipop [11:42 PM]: So that kind of changed the situations
KTLolipop [11:42 PM]: And joe is just super cool
Kute Koala [11:42 PM]: so where is my supercool boy?
KTLolipop [11:42 PM]: And for some reason he really likes my body
Kute Koala [11:43 PM]: gr
KTLolipop [11:43 PM]: I dunno? Down south somewhere?
Kute Koala [11:43 PM]: i'm sad
KTLolipop [11:43 PM]: I think that redding boys are particularly void of coolness
KTLolipop [11:43 PM]: When jay and i stopped being good friends the whole situation changed and he wanted a super happy sex object
Kute Koala [11:43 PM]: i think im' particularly void of coolness
Kute Koala [11:43 PM]: blah
KTLolipop [11:44 PM]: no...you are cool
Kute Koala [11:44 PM]: i am unliked
KTLolipop [11:44 PM]: but you aren't always happy
Kute Koala [11:44 PM]: i am pessimistic, cynical, highly depressed, and currently tearing up
KTLolipop [11:44 PM]: By boys...
Kute Koala [11:44 PM]: but the problem is, i'm ok with this
Kute Koala [11:44 PM]: i just hate that boys aren't
KTLolipop [11:44 PM]: ...currently
Kute Koala [11:44 PM]: ever
KTLolipop [11:44 PM]: I'm quite okay with it too
KTLolipop [11:44 PM]: You would suck if you were always happy
KTLolipop [11:45 PM]: It would be annoying
Kute Koala [11:45 PM]: yes
Kute Koala [11:45 PM]: i'm annoying too
KTLolipop [11:45 PM]: Well so am i
Kute Koala [11:45 PM]: but you have boys
KTLolipop [11:45 PM]: But i'm a huge flirt and i tend to make friends with guys really easily
Kute Koala [11:46 PM]: i'm an antiflirt.
Kute Koala [11:46 PM]: i seriously don't flirt. can't flirt.
Kute Koala [11:46 PM]: at all.
KTLolipop [11:46 PM]: Actually, it's more that i make friends with guys
KTLolipop [11:46 PM]: I know...do you want to be able to?
KTLolipop [11:46 PM]: Or is it that you don't like it...
Kute Koala [11:47 PM]: i dunno
KTLolipop [11:47 PM]: Do you try to?
Kute Koala [11:47 PM]: god, i hope not
Kute Koala [11:47 PM]: i try to not try to
KTLolipop [11:47 PM]: o
KTLolipop [11:48 PM]: Hum...well it's not like i just automatically flirt.
KTLolipop [11:48 PM]: I flirt when i want attention
Kute Koala [11:49 PM]: blah
KTLolipop [11:50 PM]: Okay, but my point is that if you don't try to flirt then it's your own fault
KTLolipop [11:50 PM]: If you want the attention of stupid boys that is
Kute Koala [11:50 PM]: but i'm a horrible flirt too
KTLolipop [11:51 PM]: I thought you didn't try
Kute Koala [11:51 PM]: when i inadvertantly try, it's unnatural and yucky
KTLolipop [11:51 PM]: o
KTLolipop [11:51 PM]: i'm spacing out
KTLolipop [11:51 PM]: i took cold meds
KTLolipop [11:52 PM]: that are making me fall asleep
KTLolipop [11:52 PM]: flirting is about being fake
Kute Koala [11:52 PM]: am i fake?
Kute Koala [11:52 PM]: im' not fake
KTLolipop [11:52 PM]: And if you want guys to like you for who you are, then i don't see how it will make you feel better
Kute Koala [11:52 PM]: i can't even pretend to be fake
Kute Koala [11:52 PM]: i know
Kute Koala [11:52 PM]: it's a bad cycle
KTLolipop [11:53 PM]: Indeed
Kute Koala [11:53 PM]: and thus, i will never be happy
Kute Koala [11:53 PM]: how sad
Kute Koala [11:53 PM]: i think i'm going to cry
KTLolipop [11:54 PM]: Dear! Not all guys are shallow!
Kute Koala [11:54 PM]: um
Kute Koala [11:54 PM]: a lot of them are
KTLolipop [11:54 PM]: Yeah
KTLolipop [11:54 PM]: But not all of them
Kute Koala [11:54 PM]: and those that aren't are taken or uninterested in, um, me
KTLolipop [11:54 PM]: Which does not mean that you will be unloved forever!
Kute Koala [11:55 PM]: yes it does!
KTLolipop [11:55 PM]: No!
Kute Koala [11:55 PM]: yes!
KTLolipop [11:55 PM]: No! No!
Kute Koala [11:55 PM]: i'm doomed!
Kute Koala [11:55 PM]: yes yes!
KTLolipop [11:56 PM]: Dear...plenty of perfectly horrible people get married every dya
Kute Koala [11:56 PM]: this movie sucks
KTLolipop [11:56 PM]: *day
KTLolipop [11:56 PM]: Which movie?
Kute Koala [11:56 PM]: i'm 16. i can be unreasonable
Kute Koala [11:56 PM]: model behavior
KTLolipop [11:56 PM]: k
KTLolipop [11:57 PM]: I've never seen it
KTLolipop [11:57 PM]: I want to see pecker
Kute Koala [11:57 PM]: disney channel
Kute Koala [11:57 PM]: yay for pecker
KTLolipop [11:57 PM]: I love that movie
Kute Koala [11:57 PM]: good schtuff
KTLolipop [11:57 PM]: pecker is my ideal guy
KTLolipop [11:57 PM]: mentally anyways
KTLolipop [11:57 PM]: he's super wonderful
KTLolipop [11:58 PM]: and he likes bitchy girls
Kute Koala [11:58 PM]: yes
Kute Koala [11:58 PM]: who's my ideal guy?
Kute Koala [11:58 PM]: oh, um...
Kute Koala [11:58 PM]: shoot, i had it
Kute Koala [11:58 PM]: brb
KTLolipop [11:58 PM]: k
Kute Koala [12:00 AM]: i'm typical in every way, shape, and form
KTLolipop [12:00 AM]: Um, no??
KTLolipop [12:00 AM]: Should i bother arguing with you?
Kute Koala [12:01 AM]: yes
KTLolipop [12:01 AM]: k
Kute Koala [12:01 AM]: because i can beat down every argument
KTLolipop [12:01 AM]: You aren't typical
Kute Koala [12:01 AM]: yes i am
Kute Koala [12:01 AM]: ooo, got you there
Kute Koala [12:01 AM]: haha
KTLolipop [12:01 AM]: What about you is typical
KTLolipop [12:01 AM]: You dont flirt
KTLolipop [12:01 AM]: That's not normal
Kute Koala [12:02 AM]: like the typical outcast nobody
KTLolipop [12:02 AM]: You have friends...you aren't an outcast
KTLolipop [12:02 AM]: Lack of boys does not mean that you are an outcast
Kute Koala [12:02 AM]: even outcasts have friends
Kute Koala [12:03 AM]: there's little that's special bout me
KTLolipop [12:03 AM]: But not as many or as close of friends as you
KTLolipop [12:04 AM]: Anways...you insist on being cynical
KTLolipop [12:04 AM]: That's not typical
KTLolipop [12:04 AM]: Most people insist on being happy regardless
Kute Koala [12:04 AM]: blah
Kute Koala [12:04 AM]: i don't insist upon it. it just happens.
KTLolipop [12:05 AM]: You have been cool places and done interesting things
Kute Koala [12:05 AM]: blah, so have other people
KTLolipop [12:05 AM]: Not that many other people
KTLolipop [12:05 AM]: Your typical outcast hasn't
Kute Koala [12:06 AM]: ok, i'm not an outcast
KTLolipop [12:06 AM]: You like interesting things
Kute Koala [12:06 AM]: i am a typical teenage girl who thinks she has problem but really, she has it good.
KTLolipop [12:06 AM]: That are not the typical things to like
KTLolipop [12:06 AM]: You have it okay
KTLolipop [12:07 AM]: I wouldn't want your life. No offense or anything.
Kute Koala [12:07 AM]: why not?
KTLolipop [12:07 AM]: Because...
Kute Koala [12:07 AM]: i'm just curouis
Kute Koala [12:08 AM]: i don't wnat my life either
KTLolipop [12:08 AM]: ...your paretns are divorced
KTLolipop [12:08 AM]: your mom seems to put a lot of pressure on you
KTLolipop [12:09 AM]: My sister is doing tae bo (i think i spelled that wrong)
Kute Koala [12:09 AM]: thats' odd
KTLolipop [12:09 AM]: Shes insane
Kute Koala [12:10 AM]: yes
KTLolipop [12:10 AM]: I need to go to sleep
KTLolipop [12:10 AM]: I can't think
Kute Koala [12:10 AM]: your sister is typical, but why does she get guys?
Kute Koala [12:10 AM]: ok
KTLolipop [12:10 AM]: Guys like typical
Kute Koala [12:10 AM]: i'm going to sit here and get fatter and cry some more
KTLolipop [12:10 AM]: You arent' typical
Kute Koala [12:10 AM]: but youi aren't typical and guys like you
KTLolipop [12:10 AM]: Because i make friends with guys
KTLolipop [12:10 AM]: And wierd guys like me
KTLolipop [12:11 AM]: Who are insecure
Kute Koala [12:11 AM]: blah
Kute Koala [12:11 AM]: maybe i do hate me
KTLolipop [12:11 AM]: The guys who like me only like me because they have security problems and they think i like htem
Kute Koala [12:11 AM]: um
Kute Koala [12:11 AM]: ok?
KTLolipop [12:11 AM]: So it makes them feel okay about them if i like them
KTLolipop [12:11 AM]: Kyle and robin were like that
KTLolipop [12:11 AM]: Joe might be
KTLolipop [12:12 AM]: But joe is cool so whatever
KTLolipop [12:12 AM]: And travis and matt
Kute Koala [12:12 AM]: poor travis
Kute Koala [12:12 AM]: i don't hate me. i hate my life.
KTLolipop [12:13 AM]: I see
Kute Koala [12:16 AM]: i'm bored with my life
Kute Koala [12:16 AM]: i need a change
KTLolipop [12:16 AM]: Of what sort?
KTLolipop [12:16 AM]: college...
Kute Koala [12:16 AM]: of complete sorts
Kute Koala [12:16 AM]: change of location, friends, social circles, social life
KTLolipop [12:17 AM]: college
Kute Koala [12:17 AM]: i have another fucking year to go
Kute Koala [12:17 AM]: i don't know if i can wait that long
KTLolipop [12:17 AM]: Not a year
Kute Koala [12:17 AM]: months
KTLolipop [12:17 AM]: Half of a year
Kute Koala [12:17 AM]: months still
Kute Koala [12:17 AM]: i'd like it to be a matter of week
Kute Koala [12:18 AM]: s
KTLolipop [12:18 AM]: yeah, me too
KTLolipop [12:20 AM]: You'll live
Kute Koala [12:20 AM]: i don't know aboutthat
KTLolipop [12:20 AM]: The last few months were hell for me and i lived
KTLolipop [12:20 AM]: Serious hell
KTLolipop [12:20 AM]: You don't know...I'm better at being fake than you
Kute Koala [12:21 AM]: hum?
Kute Koala [12:21 AM]: i'm watching willy wonka and the chocolate factory
Kute Koala [12:21 AM]: i'm going to beg my brother to take me out with him tomorrow
KTLolipop [12:21 AM]: that would be fun
Kute Koala [12:21 AM]: he won't
Kute Koala [12:21 AM]: but i'm going to tell him how sad i am
KTLolipop [12:21 AM]: question...what is the worst thing that has happened in your life?
KTLolipop [12:22 AM]: Or string of events?
Kute Koala [12:22 AM]: its' not that bad. its' just on top of everything.
Kute Koala [12:22 AM]: and that would be...um...thinking
Kute Koala [12:23 AM]: it's not any one thing
Kute Koala [12:23 AM]: i'm just generally depressed
Kute Koala [12:23 AM]: over nothing exciting happening
Kute Koala [12:23 AM]: and nothing good happening
Kute Koala [12:23 AM]: and god yes, i know it could be worse.
Kute Koala [12:23 AM]: but hell if i care
KTLolipop [12:24 AM]: yeah...
KTLolipop [12:24 AM]: ...you life isn't that bad
Kute Koala [12:24 AM]: but i feel like shit
Kute Koala [12:24 AM]: not physically
KTLolipop [12:24 AM]: The shit makes the good stuff better though
Kute Koala [12:24 AM]: mentally
Kute Koala [12:24 AM]: there is no good stuff htough
Kute Koala [12:25 AM]: i can't think of the worst thing, but i can't think of anything good
KTLolipop [12:25 AM]: But there will be
KTLolipop [12:25 AM]: Nothing good has happened in your life?
Kute Koala [12:25 AM]: i honestly can't think of anything good
Kute Koala [12:25 AM]: can you?
KTLolipop [12:25 AM]: Ever?
KTLolipop [12:25 AM]: Yeah
KTLolipop [12:25 AM]: Wait...in your life?
Kute Koala [12:25 AM]: in the past few months
Kute Koala [12:25 AM]: yup
KTLolipop [12:25 AM]: Well i don't know what is good for you...
Kute Koala [12:25 AM]: what's good to you
Kute Koala [12:25 AM]: in my life
KTLolipop [12:26 AM]: Well i'm a stong believer that you have to enjoy the small things
Kute Koala [12:26 AM]: so what are small things that are good
KTLolipop [12:27 AM]: Sooo...you are in college to some extent, you have a month off of school, you have had guys that were into you, you make good money...
KTLolipop [12:28 AM]: SF was fun
KTLolipop [12:28 AM]: We had cute guys check us out and make fun of us
Kute Koala [12:29 AM]: i wish i were are boarding school, i'm spending my month doing nothing, i wasn't interested in those guys and it was discovered that they are losers, the money's a good thing yes but now i'm materialistic, sf was fun but it's over, the cute guys were making fun of us
KTLolipop [12:29 AM]: Okay...ya know what...you can make anything be shitty if you want
Kute Koala [12:29 AM]: yes i can
Kute Koala [12:29 AM]: it's a talent
KTLolipop [12:29 AM]: If you want to be happy then you just are
Kute Koala [12:29 AM]: probably the only talent i have
KTLolipop [12:30 AM]: So whatever
Kute Koala [12:30 AM]: thats' another thin,g i'm talentless and unspecial
KTLolipop [12:30 AM]: Well me too
KTLolipop [12:30 AM]: So whatever
KTLolipop [12:30 AM]: You'll live
Kute Koala [12:31 AM]: again, not surea bout that
KTLolipop [12:31 AM]: I had my best friend and boyfriend get rid of me, i had a miscarriage the week or so afterward, i spent about 2 months in depression, i lived
KTLolipop [12:31 AM]: You will live
KTLolipop [12:31 AM]: You are just being whiney
KTLolipop [12:31 AM]: I'm grumpy now
Kute Koala [12:31 AM]: um...miscarriage?
KTLolipop [12:31 AM]: And i want to go ot bed
KTLolipop [12:31 AM]: Yes
Kute Koala [12:31 AM]: what?
KTLolipop [12:32 AM]: urg
Kute Koala [12:32 AM]: what?
KTLolipop [12:32 AM]: i told you i'm better at being fake than you. i don't want to talk about it
Kute Koala [12:32 AM]: um
Kute Koala [12:32 AM]: can i be utterly confused?
KTLolipop [12:33 AM]: Go ahead...i do stupid things
Kute Koala [12:33 AM]: are you serious?
KTLolipop [12:33 AM]: Yes
Kute Koala [12:33 AM]: oh my god
KTLolipop [12:33 AM]: Don't you remember how i was freaking out cuz i didn't start my period forever
Kute Koala [12:33 AM]: so take all this shit i've been complaining about and throw it in the toilet
KTLolipop [12:33 AM]: And i was like, oh well i'm under lots of stress
Kute Koala [12:33 AM]: ...yeah...
KTLolipop [12:34 AM]: So yeah
KTLolipop [12:34 AM]: But i really don't want to talk about it
Kute Koala [12:34 AM]: um
Kute Koala [12:34 AM]: and i had no clue about this
KTLolipop [12:34 AM]: no
Kute Koala [12:34 AM]: so now i'm a shitty friend on top of everything.
KTLolipop [12:34 AM]: and nobody else does either
KTLolipop [12:34 AM]: no you arent'
KTLolipop [12:34 AM]: i didn't tell you
Kute Koala [12:34 AM]: nobody else your parents included?
KTLolipop [12:34 AM]: so it's not like it's your fault you didn't know
KTLolipop [12:35 AM]: i only told jay, but he didn't believe me
KTLolipop [12:35 AM]: just cuz i thought he should know
Kute Koala [12:35 AM]: well, i could have had an inkling you were depressed for reasons other than boyfriends breaking up with you
KTLolipop [12:35 AM]: well i didn't seem that depressed anyways
KTLolipop [12:35 AM]: Ack!
KTLolipop [12:35 AM]: I reallly just wanted to move on
Kute Koala [12:35 AM]: yeah
Kute Koala [12:35 AM]: oh my god
KTLolipop [12:35 AM]: Stop!
Kute Koala [12:35 AM]: i'm sitting here in utter shock.
KTLolipop [12:35 AM]: Please, please, please
Kute Koala [12:36 AM]: so excuse my dumbfoundedness
Kute Koala [12:36 AM]: and you should probably go to bed now
KTLolipop [12:36 AM]: I know
KTLolipop [12:36 AM]: But oh well
KTLolipop [12:36 AM]: Please don't tell anyone
Kute Koala [12:36 AM]: um, yeah
KTLolipop [12:36 AM]: k
KTLolipop [12:36 AM]: thanks
Kute Koala [12:36 AM]: can we talk about this some other time or should it be something never discussed?
KTLolipop [12:37 AM]: Um...i'm not sure
Kute Koala [12:37 AM]: ok
Kute Koala [12:37 AM]: so i won't bring it up
KTLolipop [12:37 AM]: k
KTLolipop [12:37 AM]: i've moved on
KTLolipop [12:37 AM]: pretty much
KTLolipop [12:37 AM]: joe is a HUGE step in me moving on
Kute Koala [12:38 AM]: ok, i'm sobbing now because you had to go through that aloneish
KTLolipop [12:38 AM]: feel better!
KTLolipop [12:38 AM]: please!
Kute Koala [12:38 AM]: oh yeah, that's going to happen now
KTLolipop [12:38 AM]: sigh
Kute Koala [12:39 AM]: no
Kute Koala [12:39 AM]: that was such a wrong thing to say
KTLolipop [12:39 AM]: morgan...dammit. this is why i didn't tell you in the first place
Kute Koala [12:39 AM]: it's kind of a shocker.
KTLolipop [12:40 AM]: well you were being so down on your life and it's not that bad
KTLolipop [12:40 AM]: And i came out of my shittiness relatively normal and okay
Kute Koala [12:40 AM]: did your parents know about this?
KTLolipop [12:40 AM]: No
KTLolipop [12:40 AM]: God no
Kute Koala [12:40 AM]: well, obviously my life isn't that bad
Kute Koala [12:41 AM]: ack
Kute Koala [12:41 AM]: so you really did get through this alone
Kute Koala [12:41 AM]: i'm thoroughly in awe of your strenght
KTLolipop [12:41 AM]: My parents don't know that i was having sex
Kute Koala [12:41 AM]: oh, there's that
Kute Koala [12:41 AM]: and that's a cheesy thing for me to say
KTLolipop [12:41 AM]: Yeah...
KTLolipop [12:42 AM]: It wasn't really strength...i think i was kind of in denial about it and i just did other things to occupy my time
Kute Koala [12:42 AM]: hum
KTLolipop [12:43 AM]: So blah...
Kute Koala [12:43 AM]: yeah.
KTLolipop [12:43 AM]: My great advice is to make yourself totally numb to your sadness and wait it out
KTLolipop [12:43 AM]: :o)
Kute Koala [12:43 AM]: if i convince matt to take me with him to whatever party, do you wanna come?
Kute Koala [12:43 AM]: speaking of being numb
KTLolipop [12:43 AM]: Sure...if i'm well enough to leave the house
KTLolipop [12:43 AM]: And my parents don't suck
Kute Koala [12:44 AM]: i'll become an alcoholic of sorts fora while
KTLolipop [12:44 AM]: hey...i'm going to go to bed
KTLolipop [12:44 AM]: tty tomorrow
Kute Koala [12:44 AM]: night then
Kute Koala [12:45 AM]: k
KTLolipop [12:45 AM]: gnight