Ok, GABE. OH MY GOD! FREAKING OUT! SPAZZING! SHAKING! CAN"T TYPE!
it must be love!
Oh god oh god oh god oh god. this needs to stop. i can't like him. i can't i can't. it would be bad. BAD! MY GOD! in a week, i will be completely heartbroken and i NEED to not like him.
i'm SUCCUMBING> I CAN"T HOLD OFF! i have to! if he's even the least bit interested in me...he says i'm fun. why did he talk to me tonight? why? i don't know what he wants! i'm going through convulsions. i'm on emotional crack. my GOD what is WRONG WITH ME?!
it's like i'm falling in love but i'm NOT because it's GABE and i told myself it was emotionless but it's not and ohmygod this isn't even pms-induced, this is fucking REAL and it NEEDS TO STOP.
ok, calming down. katie says he's indifferent about girls in general and i've stopped shaking. because he's veyr anti-pot and i'm not and peter's telling me all this shit about him and this is good.
ok, my 5-minutes crush is over.
yay!
thanks to the following people for helping me get through this:
katie
peter
travis
yay!
but now i need a new crush.
and oh my lord, what happened to my study habits? my ambitions? my schoolwork? gone, all gone. essay due tomorrow? not started. history test to study for? not started. shit.
i'm not going to freak out.
i'm in love with being in love.
"i love you but i'm not in love with you."
"i dont' want gabe but i want a gabe."
suzy, i'm worried about you. talk to me.