Empty Rhetoric

Reviews
08 October 2003 at 11:59 am

Constantly in search of affirmation and validation:

*Disclaimer: I have a lot of entries -- three years worth -- and do not expect reviewers to read all of them. However, to understand my most recent entries you have to understand where I'm coming from: the people who discovered this, resulting in some censoring, the experimenting with writing styles, etc. I do this because it's cheaper than therapy, and I request reviews because I'm curious about the impression people get. Anyway, my point is, I'd appreciate it if you'd read a few entries from each era --like, maybe three a season -- before you judge me. Carry on ~

My Reviews: 10/10 [100%]
I think I'm actually going to miss reading your diary.
BEST REVIEW EVER. She read every entry (upwards of 1300 over the course of over 3 years), and the review, like, summed up my life on diaryland. I�d forgotten about some of the shit she commented on. I don�t feel any need to get another review, because it doesn�t get better than this. Is that enough gushing? Ooo, thank you, I feel so cared about! (also, fyi, I got rid of my stats because I was driving myself crazy obsessively checking them).

r-e-v-i-e-w: 96/100 [96%]
Your writing seems to be full of honesty and passion; it doesn't sound premeditated. I don't think I came across a single entry I wasn't interested in.
I usually hate it when reviews write only a few sentences for the content portion, but everything she said proved she really got what I was going for, so I was thrilled with this review.

Punk Reviews: 92/100 [92%]
I can�t think of anything to write, really. You left me with a very depressed, speechless feeling.
Full points for content, which is all I care about, but I don't mean to leave my readers depressed. Speechless, ok, but sad? Um, sorry?

Diary Nazi Reviews: 91/100 [91%]
Yeah. You're a funny lady. I like reading your diary. I wish I had more shit to bitch at you for, but, I don't. I'm sorry.
Another surprisingly good review.

Lime Reviews: 91/100 [91%]
You write most amazingly. More than that-you have a great take on life, and even reading about regular things wasn�t boring.
I, stupidly, didn't notice that the review site was focused on layouts -- something I don't really care about, obviously -- but she gave me a good content review, so I'm pleased.

Crash & Burn Reviews: 90/100 [90%]
"You write a lot about what�s going on in your life, but you make it funny."
Basic, simple.

Duct Tape Review: 89/100 [89%]
"You write about a wide range of things�things you like, things you don�t like, things that make me laugh, things that make me want to cry."
She said that this was her worst review. I don't know what it is about my diary that makes reviewers give bland but complimentary reviews. Oh well, it was still more thorough than most.

Opal Reviews: 88/100 [88%]
"A great diary with a take-no-prisoners attitude."
Thorough�I dunno, I�m running out of things to say about the good reviews.

Truth Review: 88/100 [88%]
I must mention this: I was planning to simply select a few entries from each month and do the reading, but during the 2001 August entries, I was so absorbed that I kept clicking on forward that I forgot what I had planned. That goes to show how intriguing your writing is.
I was looking forward to this review, if only for the Modest Moust inspired layout, and she did not disappoint. This was an immensely thorough review. She read bits and pieces of my diary throughout the years and, it seems, really got the gist of what the diary's about. Also, she added me to her favorites, which never ceases to make me happy.

Ballet Revus: 130/150 [87%]
"Your style of writing fascinates me, it�s neither overly-descriptive nor is it a boring day-to-day recount."
A really nice, basic review.

Bondage Bear Reviews: 134/155 [87%]
�You are most definitely one of the least dull people I have had the pleasure of reviewing.�
I had to wait for-ev-er for the review, because it was done for, like, two months before it was actually posted. Anyway, it was nice and thorough.

Cherry Revue: 86/100 [86%]
"So many of your entries are day-logs, but they're written in such a way that I'm kept interested all the way through which is really what you want for readers of your diary."
Not bad, not excellent (see above), but as thorough as your average reviewer.

Just Reviews: 128/150 [85%]
�I haven�t ever talked to her or met her yet I feel like I know her.�
Reaaally basic.

Wallflower Reviews: 85/100 [85%]
"Witty, stylish...alltogether yummy."
The content part was, like, three sentences, which is always disappointing. Closed.

Alone Reviews: 5/6 [83%]
"You're a good writer and you know what it takes to keep people interested in your life."
Wanted more emotion as well. I think I requested these reviews during my zombie phase.

Empty Reviews: B+
"It's fabulous, and was so funny, and serious, and true."
She gave good suggestions.

Compendious: 166/200 [83%]
"Sometimes it's freaking hysterical and other times I'm just clicking to find something I can latch on to."
Very thorough. And closed.

Diary Reviews: 83/100 [83%]
"Good writing."
I got this review forever ago (in 2001), and it was really abrupt.

Spork Reviews: 78/100 [78%]
�All in all after a bit of a battle at the beginning, I like your writing.�
Kind of a bizarre review�maybe she should have been in the mood to read a diary before actually embarking on the review?

Boughetti Review: 76/100 [76%]
You write so well, I'd love to see you let loose. Write what you feel, really pour your heart into it!
The tough thing about having a diary the size of mine (1300+ entries) is that most reviews are focusing on a few months, and a lot has happened in the past few years that explains why I write the way I do and I don't want to bore my longtime readers with reiterations of stories explaining Why. Thus, the fatal flaw in reviewing.

Fuck You Reviews: 75/100 [75%]
You intrigued me. You made me want to get to know you. You made me stop masturbating long enough to review you. It's been a day full of firsts. You will be the reason why this site now contains a hall of fame. HUZZAH! FUCKYOUVIEWS first perfect content score.
Who doesn't love a review that includes the words "I want to father your children"? I was expecting harshness, but apparently, I rock.

Quite Nasty: 75/100 [75%]
"I love the dry, matter-of-fact way you can talk about the most endearing things."
Low points because I was in between layouts, but another thorough review. I don�t really like the review site now, but at the time, it was great.

Acid Reviews: 69/100 [69%]
�It does seem like you talk an awfully lot though.�
She said I had too much detail. I use detail to attempt to put the reader in my place, to have them understand where I�m at, what I�m going through, and to provide backstory. I know it can get kind of tedious, but it�s not something I�m going to change.

Critiques: 67/100 [67%]
"You express yourself well, but, unfortunately for you, most of that includes cussing."
Honey, I use the lord's name in vain on a daily goddamn motherfucking basis.

Starry Reviews: 320/500 [64%]
You don't update as often as you could, but when you do it's well made up for with a well thought out page of your thoughts and feelings laid out for all to see.
Apparently, it's about that time to change the layout. What's wrong with Lichtenstein? Does no one else see what I see -- a girl so desperate to be her own person that she gives her own life to avoid being helped by someone who wronged her, and in doing so gives her life because of him? Come on, people, analyze!

Slut Reviews: 60/100 [60%]
"You have random moments of humor, but most of you entries are obsessive diatribes about work."
Oh man. He obviously only read the most recent entries, which really isn�t fair to begin with, and then based his review on the fact that I�m an annoying girlfriend. He couldn�t relate to the girly things I wrote - has anybody ever heard of an unbiased review? - and judged me on those as well. Normally a great, in-depth review site, but I got stuck with the new reviewer (my fault, since I changed my layout mid review�can I just say how annoying that rule is? Like I have to base my diary around the reviewers? It takes, like, five minutes to review a layout.) I wrote more shit about this in their notes.

Blonde Reviews: 57/100 [57%]
"You can go on and on about something, but your writing is still good."
A waste of time.

Blink Revu: 54/100 [54%]
"Some diaries suck. Yours very lightly sucks, and kind of flicks its tongue a little. This review is turning me on."
I request these sorts of scathing reviews in hopes of being torn to shreds and they always disappoint. Maybe I should start sucking a little more?

Gleechumber Reviews: 51/100 [51%]
"It's good, and it obviously helps you because you've been keeping it for so long. It wasn't really my thing though... but don't be put out by this review, when you've had good ones in the past."
She said I wasn�t detailed or emotional enough. Um�hm.

Ocean Reviews: 39/100 [39%]
I cannot take this boring nonsense! You probably sit at home or where ever you type these lame entries and eat bon-bons and reminesce about your day.
Why, yes, I am one of those "adult" diarylanders. Actually, I'm 20, something you would know if you'd read the cast page, which is something every reviewer should do to get an idea of what the diary's about. Are you . . . ageist? Whatever you are, you're definitely a bitch. And it's reminisce ... and Hershey kisses, not bon-bons. Try actually reading more than five entries next time, darlin, before you get on your self-righteous podium to declare what I am and what I am not. Fuck you, clown.

Diary/Song Association: "Money" by Pink Floyd
"You seem to have a nice life. A life I could wish to live, at least."
Really unique idea, but she didn�t read that many entries either. Suggestion: when you come across a diary that has shitloads of entries, pick an entry at random for each month.

NOTE: Contrary to popular belief, I am not a review whore. In actuality, and surely you are familiar with this, for every ten reviews I request, one actually gets done. That's why it seems like there's a lot on this list, but I've requested some of them months ago. Why keep the link up? I'm not sure either. Anyway.

On pending list:

Hot Pink Views

Idiot Reviews

Opinions Here Reviews

Rainy London Reviews

Sandpaper Reviews

Toast Reviews

Not on pending list:

[i'm so organized.]

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