The boyfriend read through this once I unlocked it, and it was met with a chilly reception, having just read through six months of everything that's wrong with the relationship.
Well, this is going to be no different.
We were trying to plan this trip to NY, a trip I'm coordinating with Joanna (who lives there) and Michelle and her boyfriend (who do not), and he had an opportunity to see some friends in Montreal that weekend, and I had some free flights.
Now, when I say I have free flights, I don't mean I blink my eyes and magically can fly wherever I want, whenever I want. I mean I got a bonus from work for doing a good job, or that I manipulated some credit card offers, that I put forth what is usually months of effort and careful planning in order to magically fly wherever I want, whenever I want. That I make it look effortless is just a bonus.
The flight I wanted to use this time was from my boss, who, when I asked if I could get two one-way tickets instead of one round-trip, said sure, and we booked it right then. There were four tickets left on the flight we booked, and the original flight I had wanted was already full. It was a now or never opportunity.
I didn't want to tell the boyfriend, I guess because I knew he was not going to take the news very well, but also because he hadn't 100% said YES I AM GOING THIS IS THE TIME I CAN LEAVE THIS IS THE TIME I WANT TO BE BACK, but I know that no matter what, I needed to be in New York for my own purposes at a certain time, and that if he ended up not going or needed to leave at a different time, it wasn't going to be any sort of loss, just a bonus. Free flight. Fun trip. Good times.
But did I present it this way? No. When he asked if I wanted to book the flights this weekend, I said that I already had. And he said he wishes I would take him into consideration when I make plans like this, that it comes across as being very controlling.
I thought, by trying to arrange the whole trip, I was taking him into consideration.
I thought, by trying to share my work bonus with him, by giving him a fucking gift, I was taking him into consideration.
Then he asked what time we were leaving (11am), which he was also none too pleased about. Oh, would you have preferred 6am?
So I started getting visibly upset, closed our tab (and bought his beer), drove to the beach and cried, drove to his place and cried waiting for him to come back, drove home and got really, really angry, and spent 45 minutes talking it over, during which time I had a panic attack thinking about how awful it is exposing emotions in public (as I was doing at the bar, which is why I left), and he decided he wasn't going to go to New York at all.
Then I had snickerdoodles and tea for dinner.
He's all, "I'm just telling you how I'm feeling."
I'm all, "And I'm telling you that how you feel makes me feel like shit."
This does not bode well.