My New Favorite Story Other People Tell About Me
10 February 2010 at 4:22 pm
"Girls: they've gotta get better at telling guys to fuck off."
I've been saying this for ages. Esp can attest to that, she of the inability to say no. I suffer from the opposite; rare is the occasion I say, "Well, I guess that might be alright."
But this was a conversation my brother was having while bouncing at the bar he no longer works for (he now bounces at a pot dispensary located in between a fire station and a tranny bar. The best story I've gotten out of him so far ends with, "I think that tranny just sniffed your butt!" But that's a story for another time).
This girl was complaining about a guy who was hounding her. At this bar, they take care of the hot ladies who can't handle themselves, letting them stay late to keep them safe from stalkers, walking them home occasionally. This guy was saying how the girls, they need to stop being so nice and figure out how to tell drunk guys to get the hell away from them.
"Like this one chick, I think she was your sister! This guy came up to her and touched her coat and started to say something to her, and she gave him this look and didn't even have to say anything. He just walked away. It was the greatest thing I've ever seen." Hyperbole aside, this guy laughed for days at the time, and was still laughing about it as he regaled the tale.
Even if I don't mean it, my default visage is, "Fuck off." If I'm feeling social, it might be as generous as, "What the fuck do you want?" It's a tough world out there; if you can't get past a glare, how can you handle the monthly reality-shifting debacle that is my period?
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Hi. Morgan, 27, of Santa Barbara, CA. I am a hypocritical admirer of rhetoric (when it is my own) and an observer of literary trends. A secret: I don't take anything very seriously, and that includes myself.