Watching Synedoche, New York, on a Sunday morning
01 February 2010 at 6:13 pm
I thought for a minute about telling him that I had broken up with him.
It's purely psychological, this tension between my shoulders. I can't turn my head because of what's going on inside it.
I told him to give me a backrub while dinner was cooking, and I said I didn't know why I was so tense. He listed it all off for me, but my real problem is that I'm always thinking of everything I'm not doing that still needs to be done.
I get less tense when my apartment is clean, so I clean my apartment.
I get very tense when my finances are out of order, which they are right now, but that's just a matter of transferring money. It used to be so much worse. Still, I fret because I know how bad it was.
I don't have any real problems. People are dying, but no one is dead. Relationships are ending, but they're not over yet. Money is being made. Bills are being paid. Friendships fall by the wayside, as they do, as they do.
I get less tense when I write, so I write.
I get very tense when I talk, so I don't say anything at all.
mod l post-mod
Hi. Morgan, 27, of Santa Barbara, CA. I am a hypocritical admirer of rhetoric (when it is my own) and an observer of literary trends. A secret: I don't take anything very seriously, and that includes myself.