As always, it's the perspective that matters, not the reality.
My dad, for example. He golfs and skis for a living. He doesn't really make any money doing it, save the occasional tournament win, but it's how he lives, so it's how he makes his living. That helps a lot with my respect issues with him (being that I have none for him).
That's what the bar boss and I were discussing last night on the beach after Sam's Fare Thee Well going away party at the bar. I wasn't in the mood for it, especially after an awkward social encounter that went down like this:
"Suzanne! I came out to say hi because I didn't realize you were out here!"
"Oh, hi."
"I would give you a hug but it would be kind of awkward," referring to the table separating us.
"Yes, it would be. Awkward," referring to our complete lack of a friendship.
And then I had a choice: feign enthusiasm for the evening, feign niceties and tact, feign having a good time. I'd rather choke on my tongue.
I was pretty psyched to get out of there after that, but, waiting for the bar boss to make her appearances (I was her ride), downed three Wittkerkes instead and dialed up slegg to make dinner plans (Zuni Cafe chicken, you will be mine).
Suzanne, Sam's mom, is the type of person who talks a good amount of shit, and in my head, the shit she talks about me has to do with my sycophantic ways. I'm ok with it because it's true.
She is also the kind of person who gives up everything, including friends, jobs, and houses, for love. I am currently the exact opposite.
She's a powerful person, wholly in touch with herself and her environment. I admire this part of her, but not how it manifests itself.
We aren't friends anymore and I don't think we will be ever again, but she helped me through a rough patch and I'm grateful I don't need her anymore but that she was there when I did.