I fell into a refrigerator at 5am this morning and now my right leg is one big bruise.
It's a tragic catastrophe, so I did what I do best: worked.
We watched the town burn for a bit, and then I incited spontaneous dance moments with my manipulative DJ skills before staying up until 5am chatting about numerology with a homeless dude and my buddy Mike, the guy who is, like, obsessed with 90s grunge, and also who gives me all the Meyer lemons from his lemon tree.