11 April 2009 at 2:31 pm
"It's sort of a big deal when you decide to, like, bring that part of life back into your life," I told him, but I don't mean it like that, with all the burden of the past. I mean it like, it's just that I haven't been attracted to anyone for a very long time. And when you don't have to think about that sort of thing for such a long time, you kind of forget how to think about it.
This is deliberate, because I don't want to bring That Shit into whatever happens next, you know? I don't want to have any preconceived notions. So I forgot everything -- not the physiological part, I mean, obviously, but the mental part. Because it's just not good sex if there's not a mental connection, for me, ok?
I'm also just a really bad communicator. I don't speak very eloquently because I'm constantly revising and editing and deleting and reorganizing my thoughts in my head. That's why I speak mostly in rehearsed monologues and catch phrases:
"What are you gonna do?"
"That's a mistake you only make once."
"That's information I like to have at my fingertips."
Catch-all catch phrases, get it? I know how people react to those. I don't know how people react to spontaneous Morgan, because spontaneous Morgan says things that make a lot more sense in the context of her inner dialogue.
I sum all this up thusly: "I'm a classic overthinker."
mod l post-mod
Hi. Morgan, 27, of Santa Barbara, CA. I am a hypocritical admirer of rhetoric (when it is my own) and an observer of literary trends. A secret: I don't take anything very seriously, and that includes myself.