10 February 2009 at 4:43 pm
I've been thinking about how much I miss having guy friends, and how I haven't had any real guy friends in awhile. I love my girlfriends, but it's takes a lot of effort to be a good friend to a girl, and I kind of need a break.
In my world, girls are ostracized for not anticipating needs as selflessly as possible. Here's an example: Kristie was sick a bit ago and became outrageously upset that her roommate wasn't taking better care of her. I mean, sure, it was insensitive for Jaime to go about living her life, working her full-time job and spending time with her boyfriend, without so much as a, "Do you need some NyQuil?" But when I asked if Kristie has specifically asked for anything, she said no, but that she just wanted to be asked. Which is so eyeroll-inducingly moronic ... unless you're a girl, because you really just want people to care about you, not to care for you.
But I defended poor Jaime:
"So she should read your mind?" I asked. "Why don't you just tell you that you'd appreciate it if she checked in with you?"
Why wouldn't Kristie just lay her expectations out on the table? Because girls are raised not to ask for anything, and then to take it personally when they're not given what they haven't asked for.
Here's another example: my [female] boss got angry with me for not being generous enough with my [male] barback, which was ridiculous in and of itself, but then she went and took it as a personal insult when it had nothing to do with her.
This is a difference between boys and girls: girls are rewarded for giving, and boys are rewarded for taking -- and then it becomes an emotional assault when it should be a practical matter of business logic.
This shit drives me absolutely crazy, so I'm taking a little vacation from girlland and sailing towards the isle of guy.
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Hi. Morgan, 27, of Santa Barbara, CA. I am a hypocritical admirer of rhetoric (when it is my own) and an observer of literary trends. A secret: I don't take anything very seriously, and that includes myself.