The nice thing about being stoned pretty much all of the time is, I've been having some fantastic dreams. There was one a few days ago in which I was invited to JLo's house and she took care of me while I was trying to run away from some assholes. This morning, I had a dream that two boys I have long-term crushes on were at this place that looked like the Great Hall in Sunriver, OR, where my family spent every Thanksgiving, and I had to choose between the one who I've been insanely attracted to since I met him through Aaron a year ago, and the one who's kind of grown on me. Also, Sam was there and she looked like a boy wearing Elvis Costello glasses.
Fridays have been kind of rough for me since Thursdays have picked up with our free live music series. I'm always completely exhausted and pretty much worthless, which is bad because Fridays are always full of freaks and drunks who don't speak English. There's normally at least a few people there who have my back when things get inevitably bad, and the police are just down the street, but I don't like to call them because it brings the vibe down. There was a guy in last night who seriously had the best friends. He'd had a fight with his girlfriend the night before and all of his friends were taking turns letting him bitch about it, and then he started hitting on me, and because it's kind of my job to get hit on without hitting back (literally and figuratively), I assumed the Listening Position, a slightly patronizing but ultimately comforting combination of a Mona Lisa smile and raised eyebrows and eyes opend as wide as they can go, head cocked slight to the right when I'm listening, to the left when I'm mmm-ing in understanding. It's a science.
Anyway, it was a good night.
Additionally: oh my god, you guys, I am so fat, and all of my self-worth is tied up in it. I am a fucking disaster right now. If history has anything to say, I kind of just need to let it happen. I went through this in high school, smoking pot every day, inSeattle, drinking a bottle of wine every other day, it just happens once a year or so and I can't consciously pull myself out of it, it just needs to pass.