I started this diary because Suzy (my friend who killed herself a few years ago) had one. I kept it because it was a nice place to vent my anger and feel like it was going somewhere. Then a lot of people, some I know, some I don't, started reading it and I felt the need to censor myself more and more as I got into trouble and lost (and sometimes gained) friendships over it. But I'm not at a very good place in my life right now, and I think that anything I want to say I need to say to the people who can help me, and in person, and I think I'm going to stop updating for a little while. There's no specific catalyst to this decision, but this used to be a helpful thing for me to do and it's kind of a burden, having to rewrite every entry before I post it because of who may or may not read it. So I'll be back later, once I figure some things out.