I don't know what I would do without Sparknotes. I got through reading Paradise Lost and, upon closing my reader, realized I had no clue what the fuck I had just spent two hours reading. I went back and read the first few pages and, nothing. I have no concept of the message Milton's trying to send, except Satan? Is bad. And Adam and Eve? Blah blah blah. But I already knew that. I even tried reading it according to the syllabic rhythm of iambic pentameter but all that did was piss off my brain.
And then, the light of heaven shone down upon me: Sparknotes! I don't even read the analyses, just the summary of what the hell is supposed to be going on. I went back and reread the first book and it all made sense.
Sparknotes, will you marry me?