Burp
07 July 2005 at 5:59 pm

I have nine minutes before I have to leave for my second job of the day. Let's see what sort of damage I can do with a time limit:

I threatened to leave Aaron last night, sort of in a backhanded way, but sort of not, sort of just to get his reaction, but sort of not. It's not him, it's me, blah blah blah ... it's like I'm screaming to him, "But, I'm not ok!" And he nods and pretends to not hear, or doesn't believe me, or doesn't know what to do about it, or doesn't care. I think it's probably the third one, but who am I supposed to go to to keep me sane? At this age, at this part of my life, it's dangerous to need another person. Not like I need my friends or my mom, but to need someone so much I don't know if I could get through the day without calling him at least five times (which I do). To have built up almost three years (a lifetime) worth of habits, to think, "What if I didn't have him to do my laundry or get me a glass of water at five in the morning ? Who would I bitch at if I couldn't bitch at him?" I can understand why people contemplate taking separate vacations; I'm not a Morgan anymore, I'm a couple.

At this point in my immature lifetime, there is no life without him. Now, how do I change that without breaking up with him?

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About me
Hi. Morgan, 27, of Santa Barbara, CA. I am a hypocritical admirer of rhetoric (when it is my own) and an observer of literary trends. A secret: I don't take anything very seriously, and that includes myself.