sick of people who pretend drugs are their lives who think that everything is more than what it is when drugs are involved tired of people telling me how much better it is when they're something different than what they are why can't it be ok for things to just be what they are and let's not get into that existentialist shit about how things are only what you think they are but blue could be red to someone else because i'm sick of it you make money you work you show up on time to your commitments you find a lover you have sex you get sick of sex you pretend like you still like it you have kids and pretend to like them because biology makes it so you keep working you make money you retire with all the money you supposedly saved up unless you're my 8th grade substitute teacher who was 80 with no savings and our teacher lectured us to be absolute darlings to her because she sucked at life and then you move on to something else nothingness or something better i'm more comforted with the idea of nonexistence than i am with the idea of being judged for my belief systems what does that mean anyway i believe this chair exists and so it supports me no matter what i believe god exists so he lets me float on clouds for eternity would couldn't exist in our minds anyway to me eternity has an end and that's the end of time which doesn't exist as long as i'm still alive but i'm too old for what age i am and i'm sick of it already and what could be better than whatever i'm doing right now and what could be worse but it doesn't matter because things couldn't be better than they are right now and things couldn't be worse than they are right now and that's because nothing exists except for right now right now right now and every sort of cancer you can think of runs in my family along with hearing loss depression ocd and if we're all siblings in god than every illness known to man is available to me and it's just a matter of time before i choose the wrong penis or the wrong pills and then that's it i have a slightly more defined limit on my time here even though i always did and no this isn't about you.