Today, I will be attending a meeting regarding attaining an unpaid internship with McSweeney's.
A good part of me is thrilled at the prospect of throwing my current job in my current employer's faces, like, I have a better opportunity and even though it doesn't pay anything I don't care it's better than here ANYTHING'S BETTER THAN HERE! HAH!
Then I dreamed all last night of being fired and woke up kind of sad and pissed off.
Anyway.
The front portions of my cheeks are yellow with bruising -- that's the part where I didn't put the arnica -- and the inside where the teeth were removed is kind of itchy. I smoked one cigarette last night and two this morning and don't feel like killing myself anymore. As Sanam so eloquently put it (paraphrasing), if it comes down to you killing yourself or smoking a cigarette, smoke the fucking cigarette. So I did! And the sun shined just a little brighter. Mmmm, nicotine.
Aaron and I spend a good part of the day being pissy over the phone and hanging up on each other and I left work early and went to school and got some homework out of the way and went home and fell asleep to Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends, which is the kind of show I'm glad is on the air because it's way better than half the crap they're airing these days though it's still no Poochie or Dangermouse [edit, censored for nonsense] I'm just typing this to avoid work and these are the memories that come up when I focus on the keyboard and not the computer screen so I'll probably just delete all of it and leave this bit to avoid trying to go back and explain what the hell I'm thinking about so just imagine all of your childhood memories, the good ones, coming flooding back to you and then fill in the blank.
The promise of change gives me hope.