When I was in the 4th grade, I fell off my bike into a 6-foot gorge. I emerged covered in blackberry bush scratches and poison oak. A day later, my entire body had increased in surface area, particularly my face. Think Quasimodo meets the Elephant Man: I was a crusty, puffy, disgusting disaster.
Fast forward to today and I look like ... I don't even know how to describe it. I don't want to say chipmunk, because that's what everyone says. A snake that has just consumed a large rat but has not yet swallowed it completely. The cheeks, they are huge.
The pain? Not so much. Vicodin, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways:
(1) No pain! And when there is no pain in the first place, you make me feel like a princess!
(2) Decreased appetite!
(3) Legal!
(4) I can sleep 14 hours a day and it's understandable!
Sucks that finals are next week because there is noooo way I'm working on anything this weekend. Wooooooooo TV and mindless book reading and napping while dreaming of absolutely nothing.
Also sucks Aaron's so ridiculously stressed about work and he's firing his right hand guy before the new guy is able to work full time, requiring him to up his hours from 10 a day to 14, thus requiring me to complain only to myself. He's bringing me home pudding (and eventually the bacon) though, so it's ok.
And chicken broth? I'm lovin it.