Upon hearing the news that a company xmas card sans the signature of the guy who is friends with him, I think, "Is there one person in the world who gives a flying fuck about that?" Everyone, including this guy, has been moaning and groaning about these fucking xmas cards and they're the ones who won't sign them. So, you know, fuck you.
But when I'm confronted with this bit of information I can't say, "You know, bud, no one has ever given me a reason to care. So I won't apologize, but I will say that if you had gotten through all the cards the day we were doing the signing, maybe this wouldn't have happened." Instead I will say, "No! I'm so sorry! Would you like me to write a letter of apology declaring the mistake all of my fault?"
More often than not, days begin and end with me hoping against hope to be fired. I couldn't quit on good conscience -- the money's too good for how little I do -- but I could collect unemployment for a little while if I were fired. Then I think, is there anyone else who is more qualified to do this job? I mean, if there is someone that genuinely cares about serving strangers coffee and orgasms over the filing system, please, let me know. I'll feel guilty if I'm taking this pleasure away from you.
If I've ever felt worse than I do right now, I can't remember that time. My entire body is in severe pain for no good reason and I'm wishing death unto either myself or unto everyone else. Take your pick.