I got trained for my new job today. It's really scary. The phone system is operated through the computer, so someone calls, asks for someone, I click a button and double click a name and get talk to someone else, and if I want to transfer it, I hang up the phone. Or I can put them on hold or I can transfer them without talking with whomever I'm transferring to. It's bizarre and frightening.

I have a stutter and a slight lisp that I've learned to conquer, but it comes back whenever I get nervous. My brother used to call me P-p-porky Pig. So all these important people are going to be calling and I'm going to be like, "S-s-s-saaam thinger is unavail---ava---ava---he's not here right now."

I took a five hour nap and these are the dreams I had:

In one of them, I was walking across the street in Australia, which looks like the part of Chicago i stayed in when aaron and I were visiting, but it was summer. A car almost hit me because a cop was blocking the way the car was supposed to go, so I called the cop an asswipe. He threatened to arrest me, and I got really scared, so I told him I had a disorder in which i have to say exactly what I'm thinking or else my brain changes my depiction of the events. He got all interested, and we were sitting on the curb talking about it, but I couldn't think of a name for the disorder so I was hoping he wouldn't ask me. I was thinking of calling it "blarney's disease" or "mick o'reilly's disease" and I don't know why all the names I thought of were Irish.

In the second one, I was at a reunion, but it was like the first day of school and everyone was lined up for picture day. I didn't want to get my picture taken, but I wanted to ask the picture-taking guy if I had to give a thumbprint like we used to have to do when we were in school (in reality, this never happened), but I thought it would be funny if we did. He said no, and then he said that I had to get my picture taken but I really didn't want to because I didn't want to wait and I didn't want to have to participate. Then I was sitting on some benches and there was a lady there and I can't really remember what happened but I felt very uncomfortably and really wanted to leave. I think at some point they wouldn't let us leave because they wanted us to stay there all night.

Craaazy.

one year ago today: "after work, i went back to aaron's and spent an hour being together -- i'm discovering that that's what we do best -- and then went home around 4 and ate half an eighth of shrooms."

two years ago today: "i think i've found my next victim." and "anne and i just parked our cars and on the way back we either saw a really small mole, a really smalle gopher, or a really big mouse." and "mmm, 2-day old flat dr pepper."

three years ago today: nothin.