whatever happened to predictability?
13 May 2003 at 2:01 pm

by nature, i am not the type of person to enjoy the simple pleasantries of life.

the number of my pet peeves are far more than that of the little things that make me smile.

and more often than not, those stupid fucking little things annoy the hell out of me.

i make a point to stick my tongue out at the road sign on 34th in wallingford that reads "smile: next 15 minutes." i mean, fuck you.

and say i'm at work and the idiot manager fucked up the schedule so it's just two tellers and one of those tellers is of the bitchy-numbskull- butthead variety ... well, i guess i could look at the situation as a chance to prove myself. But No. there is nothing good about this situation. i'm bored, annoyed, and have prepared my verbal machete for the next idiot who comes into the branch without any i.d.

and note to customers: anything funny you may have to say is probably not funny at all, and is really rather annoying. when i ask how you want you cash, a simple "20s" will suffice. "green" or "american" or "with a side of fries" is not an acceptable answer, and i should not be held accountable for chopping your right pinky off.

and here's the thing of it: life bites and suzy had the right idea.

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About me
Hi. Morgan, 27, of Santa Barbara, CA. I am a hypocritical admirer of rhetoric (when it is my own) and an observer of literary trends. A secret: I don't take anything very seriously, and that includes myself.